tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84695421135341573152024-03-19T00:37:14.031-07:00My Peanut and meMommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-50221370478868298352015-06-12T17:56:00.001-07:002015-06-12T17:56:26.268-07:00I am still waiting for my letter from CCBC to find out if I made it into the Respiratory Therapy program starting this Fall. Hoping to be Class of 2017! A long time coming, taking classes here and there for the last 15 years. I've been keeping myself busy sewing :) My passion!<br />
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Just a few of my latest creations :) More to come!</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-66458118574509771252015-04-16T08:57:00.000-07:002015-04-16T08:57:36.216-07:00An Open Letter to the Ultrasound Tech who diagnosed my Baby's Heart DefectIt has been nearly 2.5 years since I have written a blog post, but today this one felt necessary. The last time I wrote a blog post was the end of Anya's story, the day of her funeral. Today has been 3 years since the day I received Anya's diagnosis, at her 19 week anatomy scan. It has been 3 years since my world turned upside down and has never been the same since.<br />
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To the Ultrasound Tech who diagnosed my baby's congenital heart defect,<br />
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I wanted to thank you. Thank you for being excellent at your job, and taking your time to get the images you needed of the news that would change my life forever. You were nervous and quiet- but I didn't notice it then. You barely spoke a word, except to ask me if I was familiar with looking at ultrasound images. I said just a little bit; however, I was too ignorantly blissful that I was just moments away from finding out the gender of my unborn child growing in my belly. At that moment, I couldn't have imagined of seeing what you were looking at.<br />
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You spent nearly an hour focusing on my baby's heart. Her little, miraculous beating heart. You looked from every angle you could get as clear of a picture as you could. I vaguely remember when you looked at her heart from the bottom angled upward. I didn't understand why then, but was too excited to care. I just wanted to hear the words, "It's a ___(fill in gender here)." <br />
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You were so focused on what you had seen, that you had forgotten to tell me my baby's gender until I had asked. You had my chart in your arms with dozens of ultrasound photos on a strip of photo paper long enough they were nearly trailing the floor. I didn't notice then. You were nervously trying to run out of the room to get the perinatalogist, leaving me for a few minutes to bask in the excitement that you had just told me I was carrying a precious baby girl.<br />
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A little while later, you followed the perinatalogist back into the small, dark ultrasound room that you had left me in. You knew then that I realized something was wrong as you handed me a box of tissues. You stayed quiet as the perinatalogist said to me, "Your baby has a severe congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. It is the most severe I have ever seen."<br />
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I was shocked, in disbelief, as the perinatalogist flipped through the dozens of images you had taken of my baby's heart, showing me an image you saved that showed no left ventricle, no mitral valve, and a closed aorta. <br />
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Thank you, ultrasound tech, for seeing through my blissful ignorance and diligently doing your job. You gave me the opportunity to plan and have my baby in a hospital that is equipped to handle HLHS, rather than finding out after birth and having her transported to a different hospital. You helped me to give my baby a chance at life, as short as it was I am thankful for the time I had with her.<br />
Signed,<br />
Karen Wockenfuss<br />
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Approximately half of congenital heart defects are diagnosed in utero. The rest are not diagnosed until hours or days after birth, or most unfortunately at autopsy. <br />
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To the moms out there who think, it could never happen to you- that is what I thought too. I did "everything right" too. Always ask at your baby's anatomy scan:<br />
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Do you see all 4 heart chambers?<br />
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Can you see all of the major blood vessels and are they connected where they should be?<br />
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Are the heart valves formed correctly?<br />
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Is the heart in the correct position?<br />
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Do you see both kidneys?<br />
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Is the stomach in the correct position?<br />
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Why should you care about congenital heart defect awareness? Because the day before my baby's CHD diagnosis, I wasn't a heart mom either. Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-29185763334264934012012-11-07T18:44:00.001-08:002012-11-07T18:55:38.460-08:00Goodbye, Sweet Anya...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This was one of my favorite outfits of Emoree's when she was a baby. At the time that I took this picture of Anya, I would have never dreamed it would be her last. I had so many more wonderful pictures to take of her, so many more adorable outfits for her to wear. If only...</div>
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Saturday, November 3rd, 2012. I got up at 6:30AM to get ready for work. I got dressed, took Anya upstairs, set up her meds for the day for my mom and gave her the lovenox injection. She was fussing, but I was running late for work so I gave her and Emoree a quick kiss before I ran out the door. My mom was sitting in the recliner holding both of my girls. At 7:50AM, I was almost to work and my mom called me, asking me how to mix Anya's formula because I didn't have time to do it before I left. I told her 25ml of water per can, shake it, put it in the fridge. I go to work and start my day. I started shaving down my first dog of the day, and my second dog didn't show so I took a phone call and took an extra. It was looking like a good day.</div>
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At 8:34AM, my cell phone rang. I answered it and it was my little brother, which is quite strange because we don't really talk on the phone, and he knew I was at work. Then he told me the words that will haunt me forever... "An ambulance is here. Anya is unresponsive." I could hear commotion in the backround. I don't even know what I said in response, or if I even said anything. I hadn't even hung up the phone when I looked up at Courtney and said, "I need to leave." She hugged me tight, and I ran out the door. In the car, I called my mom. She was hysterical and difficult to understand. I kept asking what happened, where are they taking her, should I come home or what hospital is she going to?? I finally got out of her that they were taking her to Franklin Square, so I drove there as quickly as I could. I think I even ran a red light...</div>
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I arrived at Franklin Square emergency room, and I was shaking and holding back tears as I walked inside. I asked if Anya had arrived yet, the lady at the podium told me she wasn't on the board yet but as soon as she was she would let me know. Finally, I saw the ambulance pull in followed by a cop car. I waited a minute before I went and asked the lady again if I could go see her. After what felt like forever, they walked me through a series of hallways to peds emergency. From that moment, my life changed forever. I walked down the corridor and immediately I knew where she was. There was police officers & paramedics standing outside of the open glass door, and inside I could see doctors and nurses rushing around. There were 18 people surrounding Anya, her lifeless little body, on the stretcher and they were all busy taking care of her. She was so pale, and her stomach severely distended. I paused outside of the door, until someone took my hand and walked me into the room. They had me sit on a chair behind the line of people who were trying to resuscitate Anya. The person who walked me into the room stood next to me and kept her hand on my shoulder. I got up the nerve to ask the question I was afraid to ask.. "Is her heart beating?" Quietly, the lady told me no. She didn't have a pulse. She stayed with me until a social worker came, then the social worker stayed with me. Finally, my mom and Mrs. Kathy showed up. My mom was not calm enough to drive so she waited for Mrs. Kathy to come get her. Someone pulled up a chair for my mom and she sat next to me and we both cried. Mrs. Kathy waited out on the hallway talking to the police officer. Meanwhile, there were so many people rushing around. I think I remember answering questions about Anya's medical history. Every 3 minutes someone would tell the nurse to give another dose of epi, and the whole time they were doing chest compressions and bagging her (pumping air into her mouth and nose with a manual vent). Nurses and doctors took turns doing chest compressions. At this point, I felt like she was gone.</div>
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A doctor came over to me and explained that she has not had a pulse for nearly an hour, and that after the next round of epi that she would have to "call it." I said okay and cried. I prayed silently with my mom, and I am not the kind of person who prays. A minute later, I heard someone say, "I found a pulse." At that moment, I felt relief. They continued to "bag" her, but chest compressions were no longer necessary. Within a short amount of time, they did a chest x-ray, put in a central line and an arterial line, put in an NG tube to try and suction her stomach (because they were having difficulty with her g-tube), and called University of MD for transport. When the transport team arrived, they decided to cut her g-tube (rubber hose) short so they could better suction it because her belly was severely distended and getting worse. The lady from the transport team told me that even though Anya wasn't stable, they needed to get her to University of MD as quick as possible to get her on ECMO (heart & lung machine). Soon after, they told us to leave and to meet them at University of MD PICU. Before I left I picked up Anya's hand to hold it and kiss it, and it was so cold and limp.</div>
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The drive over to University of MD was quiet. I silently thought about Anya's risk of brain damage, considering she was nearly an hour without oxygen. We got to University of MD before Anya did. We went up to the PICU and was greeted by her nurse, who was rushing around getting the room ready for her. I asked her if Dr. Kaushal was around, and she said he was on his way. She then told us we could wait in the Family Waiting Room, and that we would see Anya go by there when she arrives. It felt like forever until that actually happened, and I was more and more on edge until I saw them rush her down the hallway. I quickly got up and followed them to her room. They were still bagging her. They got her in the room and moved her off of the stretcher and onto the bed quickly. There was a bench/couch in the room that was out of the way from the commotion, so my mom, Mrs. Kathy, and I stayed there and sat and watched quietly. Ocassionally doctors came over to us and asked us what happened this morning. Over and over again, my mom had to repeat the morning's events and each time she cried. Anya was fussing, she was sitting in the recliner rocking her, she had pooped in her diaper and she got up to change her. While changing her, she checked her pulse ox and it was 88, and she was happy with that (Anya's goal sats were 75-85, so acutally 88 is a little high. Her norm is 78). She sat back down in the chair and rocked her. She thought she had fallen asleep, but didn't hear her usual loud, rapid breathing so she tried to feel for a pulse and them immediately called 911. She layed her on the table and did mouth-to-mouth CPR as they told her to, until the paramedics arrived 5 minutes later and took over.</div>
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Quickly they hooked her up to the ventilator. They started so many medications in her IVs I don't remember what they were. There were so many people and equipment in the room. Dr. Kaushal showed up, and again my mom had to relay the morning's events. They did an echocardiogram, and other than severe tricuspid regurgitation (which was previously classifed at moderate), there was no change in her heart that explained why she went into arrest. He then asked us to leave the room, he wanted to assess her and see if she needed ECMO. While waiting again in the Family Waiting Room, a doctor from Infectious Disease Control came and talked to me, asking me about everyone Anya has had contact with, what medications she was on, and so much more. She asked if there has been any changes to her, etc. The only thing I noted was that when she woke up this morning her forehead felt cool and clammy, but I disregarded it to how frequently she sweats, and that her "reflux cough" has been happening more than normal.</div>
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After what I had decided was long enough to wait, Mommom (Mrs. Kathy) & I walked down to Anya's room, stood outside the door, and just watched. My mom soon followed. What we saw was the nurse was still working on Anya. Dr. K was sitting in a chair, watching her numbers on the screen. After awhile, they welcomed us back into the room. Dr. K told us he decided not to do ECMO, but he wanted to get a head ultrasound and EEG to check for any bleeds and to monitor any seizure/brain activity. The ultrasound technician came in to do the head ultrasound, and the cardiologist asked her to do a bladder ultrasound as well because they were waiting for urine output, because Anya hadn't had any. The tech was happy with the head ultrasound, she said she didn't see any bleeds. She spent a little longer on the abdominal ultrasound, and the only comment I heard was that the bladder was collapsed (empty). This was a worrying sign. They did so many tests and there were so many machines I cannot remember everything they did. I remember the lady who came in and hooked up the EEG machine to monitor brain activity, because she was standing there waiting for ultrasound to be finished. I remember a chest x-ray or two. </div>
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My mom was standing there when I took this picture. She asked me why I was taking it, and I told her, "So a year from now, I remember what we came back from."</div>
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I was sitting on the bench in Anya's room and my absolute favorite night nurse, Elizabeth, came in and gave me a hug. This was somewhere between 3-5PM. She came in early, she said she had heard some fuss that one of the cardiac babies was back and when she heard it was Anya she came in early. </div>
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Sometime during the course of the evening, Elizabeth did a nasal swab for a viral panel, and I think another one for a pertusis screening. I think it was around 6-7PM that Anya's blood pressure started dropping. They took her off the ventilator machine and hooked her up to an oscilator machine, which they explained to me puts more force behind each breath to help inflate her lungs. The PICU attending explained to me that usually for about 6 hours after arrest patients are typically more stable before they start to decline again, and we were now past that 6 hour mark. I remember them suctioning her breathing and her stomach, both of which came out with blood tinged fluid. I started noticing that all of her scars were looking bright red and fresh, no longer the faded scar look they were the day before. Elizabeth was doing something (I think she was having an argument with the IV pump machine at this time), when I noticed blood tinged fluid leaking out of Anya's nose. I told Elizabeth about it, then I just stood there and held Anya's arm. I didn't want to sit, no matter how many times they told me to, I wanted to stand there with my baby girl and let her know I was there.</div>
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It was about 8PM when my Mom & Mom-mom left, my mom was going home to stay with Emoree for the night but Mrs. Kathy refused to let me stay by myself (no matter how many times I said Id be fine) so she stopped home and picked up some clothes for me and came back with dinner for me. </div>
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A doctor from Peds surgery came in to take a look at Anya, at this point Elizabeth wasn't in the room. At this point, All of the gauze taped to Anya's legs and arms from the emergency IVs they put in at Franklin Square were now blood soaked. There was alot of blood in her diaper from where they put the central line in her groin. The doctor opened up her diaper and I noticed some bloody goo that wasn't there before. I pointed it out that it was new, and he only asked me if I had ever seen that before and I said no. Soon after he left the room, but I made sure to tell Elizabeth about it when she came back in. </div>
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Ever since they got her pulse back at Franklin Square, and successfully transferred her to UMMC, I never once thought that I was losing her. I talked about her being inpatient for awhile again, picking up a new parking pass on Monday morning, etc. It didn't cross my mind that I was going to lose her that night, which is why I was okay with my mom leaving to be home with Emoree. I don't know if I was in denial, or in shock...</div>
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Around 10PM Mom-mom insisted that I get some sleep. I obeyed, got my pillow, and layed down on the bench and she sat next to me. Apparantly I was only asleep for a few minutes when Elizabeth checked Anya's diaper and found the bloody goo, and insisted that she wakes me up, but Mom-mom let me sleep until absolutely necessary. Later on, the goo was explained to me as Anya's insides were dying and draining out. When Anya's blood pressure started to drop around 10:30PM, Mom-mom told me I had to wake up. Minutes later code blue was called, and nurses and doctors rushed into the room. I stood back and cried and held onto Mommom while again they tried to resuscitate Anya, bagging her and doing chest compressions, and pushing epi. The PICU attending who was there all day and night with Anya came over to me and told me that he believes that Anya died that morning, that she is already gone and it was just her body trying to hang on. I cried more and told Mommom to go call my mom to come back to the hospital. They continued with resuscitation efforts. Mom was on her way back and Mommom continued to hug me. I looked at the clock at 11:03PM. Just a few minutes later, The PICU attending came over to me again and just shook his head. I cried, "She's gone..." and with that resuscitation efforts were stopped. My baby girl was already gone.</div>
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No mother, or no parent for that matter, should ever have to stand there feeling helpless watching their lifeless child being resuscitated. No mother should ever need be given the opportunity to hold their lifeless baby. Children are supposed to outlive their parents. That is the way to world is supposed to work. No mother should ever have to pick out an outfit for their child to be buried in. No mother should ever have to bury their dead child's body.</div>
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One by one, in silence, they unhooked the machines. Dr. Kaushal came back in, he looked so sad. He told us that he is angry that he does not know why we lost my baby girl. He asked that I authorize an autopsy, which I did. He asked that we come see him in a month, and that hopefully he would have an answer for us as to what happened and to give us some closure.</div>
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They wrapped Anya up in a blanket and handed her to me. She was noticably heavier that she was that morning, when she was alive. She still had the vent tube in her mouth, and the NG tube and the pacemaker wire in her nose. She was so swollen it didn't look like she could have opened her eyes, if she were alive. She didn't look like Anya anymore. Nevertheless, I sat there and held her and cried. I layed down with her, and cried some more. Finally, my mom was back. I could hear her in the hallway talking to Dr. K. A few minutes later she came in the room, with my Aunt Chris who had picked her up and drove her. Then I cried with my mom. They came in and had me sign some papers, authorizing autopsy, etc. and I continued to hold her. She didn't look like Anya, but she was still my baby. She was cold when they first handed her to me but after awhile my body heat warmed her a little. After midnight my mom told me that I was going to have to give her back to the nurse. I cried and said no I wasn't ready. I needed to hold her longer. I requested a lock of her hair and her handprints and footprints, so about 1AM Elizabeth came back in with stuff to do her handprints and footprints, and a nice little box to put the prints in. It was just before 1:30AM when I handed Anya back to Elizabeth, and we left for home. Mommom drove me home, and during the drive I posted on Facebook about Anya's passing. We got home and I crawled into bed, my mom gave me Tylenol PM, and I cried until I was asleep.</div>
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The next few days were a bit of a blur. I felt numb. I cried sometimes, but others I just felt numb like I was waiting for the pain to creep up inside me and take over my body but I honestly felt nothing.</div>
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On Sunday I tried to keep myself busy. I got together Anya's Christmas presents that I had already purchased, her car seat that I still had the receipt for, and a few other unopened things and took them back to Toysrus and Walmart with Mommom. Poppy was able to take the pack n play back to Walmart too. I did some laundry, and hung Anya's clothes up in her closet. I'm no where near ready to take anything out of her room yet.</div>
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On Monday we made the funeral arrangements. We went to the funeral home, to the cemetary, to the florist, and a few other places. I cried a little at the funeral home, but after that I felt numb, almost robotic. I also took her bouncy seat and swing up to the attic.</div>
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On Tuesday Anya's obituary was in the Baltimore Sun newspaper. I clipped it out and put it in her baby book. We went to Sam's Club and the grocery store and bought food for Anya's wake. After that we came home and cleaned up the living room and dining room so that we could make room for all the people we were expecting the next day.</div>
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Today was Anya's funeral service. I was so nervous walking into the funeral home. Mommom stayed right by my side. Emoree took my hand and walked with me into the room where Anya's casket was. Emoree doesn't really understand what is going on. She keeps asking where Anya is. She only knows that everyone is sad. So many people I didn't expect sent flowers. They are all beautiful. We set up pictures around Anya's casket of Anya, me with Anya, and Anya with Emoree. I am a little upset that I do not have a decent picture of Anya and I together, so I printed the one my mom took of the two of us the first day Anya was discharged from UMMC. Soooo many people came to Anya's funeral. Other heart moms, including one special woman who is still pregnant with her heart baby that I hadn't previously met other than talking to her online. I felt so loved that they came. All of my friends from work came, and many other friends that I haven't seen in months/years. My mom's friends, cousins, were there. My dad's family traveled a bit further to be there. Two of Anya's nurse practitioners were there. I felt so loved, that Anya's story has touched so many people, yet I still feel numb. At the funeral home I asked that Mommom and my cousin Laurie gave speeches. Both of which were beautiful. My Uncle Lindy and my brother Michael were the pallbearers. We followed the procession to Sacred Heart of Jesus cemetary. The drive was so slow which I expected, but it was making me antsy. We got to the cemetary, the funeral director said a verse from Psalms, and that was it. It felt so quick. I didn't want to leave, but it was cold, and Emoree was getting antsy. So we got up and went back to our cars and most everyone came back to our house for the wake. It was akward at first, I didn't know what to do and I felt like everyone was staring at me. Then we started to eat and it felt a little more relaxed. There was so many people in my house, I don't think there has ever been that many before. Every room on the main level was filled with people. <br />
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After awhile people started to dwindle out, until eventually everyone was gone. My mom asked me if I wanted to go back up to the cemetary, I said yes. I wanted to take a flower from one of the arrangements and leave it at Anya's gravesite. When we got back there, Anya was in the ground and the hole was filled with dirt, as my mom had told me it would be. I left a single white rose on the stone. <br />
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Now I kind of feel like Saturday's tragic events were longer ago than just 4 days, and that the last 8 months (since I found out about Anya's heart defect) were like a dream with a horribly tragic ending that I just woke up from, that I feel deeply sad about... I just don't know what to do, or how to feel... my baby was alive for 2 months, 7 days, 19 hours, and 40 minutes. No matter what, it wasn't nearly long enough.<br />
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The outpouring of love I have gotten from all of my friends, real life and social media, has been overwhelming but also comforting. You all are helping me through this, and I thank you. <br />
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I am uncertain if I am going to continue to blog. This blog started with my fertility journey one year ago this month, and what an up and down year it has been. Right now I feel like this is the end, but I may pick it back up later about just Emoree and I. In spring I plan to go back to school. I would like to be able to apply for the respiratory therapy program at CCBC Essex in Fall 2013. I need to have some sort of plan, something to look forward to, and going back to school is something I've wanted to do for awhile. Eventually, I'll be okay. I'll get there.<br />
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and Heart Mommas, this one is particularly for you Sarah, I still look forward to watching your little ones grow up. We still need each other <3<br />
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"These are my footprints, so perfect and so small. These tiny footprints never touched the ground at all. Not one tiny footprint, for now I have wings. These tiny footprints were meant for other things. You will hear my tiny footprints, in the patter of the rain. Gentle drops like angel’s tears, of joy and not from pain. You will see my tiny footprints, in each butterflies’ lazy dance. I’ll let you know I’m with you, if you just give me the chance. You will see my tiny footprints, in the rustle of the leaves. I will whisper names into the wind, and call each one that grieves. Most of all, these tiny footprints, are found on Mommy's heart. ‘Cause even though I’m gone now, we’ll never truly part."</div>
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August 27, 2012 - November 3, 2012</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-35170986867222290302012-11-01T14:32:00.002-07:002012-11-01T14:32:47.931-07:00Home again & Halloween<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I want to keep this updated, but hardly ever find the time to! We have had a lot happen in the last two weeks. I'll start with Anya was home for 10 wonderful days, then on Friday night 10/26/12 her sats dropped into the 50-60s and wouldn't come up. It was like this for over an hour, so that earned us a trip to the ER. You know how you normally sit around and wait for 4 hours in an ER before anyone even calls your name? Well, thats not the case when you take a blue baby in and state that her sats are in the 50s. If anything, that gets people moving. They put her on oxygen right away, and did an echocardiogram and a chest x-ray. Both of which turned out unchanged from before. She does have a moderate leak on her tricuspid valve in her heart, but that luckily has not worsened. She was admitted and we were right back in her old room in the IMC/PICU unit at UMMC, luckily without a roommate. She even had her same crib. They did a viral panel, and that came back clear. Turns out her hematocrit was low and she needed blood, so they tried 4x Saturday night to put an IV in unsuccessfully, then Sunday they got an IV in her head and she was able to get her blood transfusion (I think she has had like 12 of them now?). Since Hurricane Sandy was headed up the coast, Emoree stayed with Grandma & Grandaddy and I packed a bag and stayed at the hospital with Anya. Monday morning Anya was taken off of oxygen and was doing very well. We were going to stay until Tuesday to ride out the storm, but then Anya got a roommate that wasn't very pleasant so I asked if she could be discharged. So we left Monday during the hurricane, and made it home safely.<br />
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It was nice to have Anya home for Halloween! Anya had a cardiology appointment in the morning, so I took her there while Grandaddy took Emoree to school and took pictures of her during her school Halloween Parade.<br />
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After we were all home we cleaned and carved our pumpkin :)</div>
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Grandma stayed home with Anya while I took Emoree trick-or-treating with her cousins, which she was most looking forward to.</div>
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Today we did handprints and footprints, and after bath time we had a mini photoshoot!</div>
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and we finish off with Emoree practicing to write her name :)</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-56235025881956803172012-10-21T08:29:00.001-07:002012-10-21T08:29:27.979-07:00Welcome Home Anya!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So here is the post I've been excited to finally be able to write... Anya is home! She came home on Tuesday, October 16th about 4:30PM. She is doing fantastic! She weighed about 8lbs 2oz when she came home, and is now 8lbs 8oz just 5 days later :)<br />
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Pictures from her hospital discharge:<br />
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I was so excited to FINALLY for the first time ever be able to pick her up, unattached from all wires and tubes! </div>
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The first night home was a little rough. Anya woke up at 5AM (1.5 hours before her contiuous feed ends) and started throwing up, 4x in an hour. I stopped her feed and elevated her bassinett mattress (so she is inclined and not laying flat), and she has had perfect nights ever since! She sleeps through most of her continuous feed, which means Mommy gets about 7 hours of straight sleep :)</div>
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I could not wait to give my stinky baby a bath. At the hospital, all they could do was sponge baths so I couldn't wait to give her a real bath! Pictures from her first and second baths:</div>
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Other pics at home:</div>
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Anya gets 7 different medications daily. She gets a lovenox injection twice a day, asprin 1x/day, multivitamin 1x/day, lasix 2x/day, captopril 3x/day, reglan 3x/day, and zantac 3x/day. Luckily, her g-tube makes giving meds easy, except for the lovenox injection. That goes in her thigh.<br />
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Emoree is a proud big sister :) She tells me whenever Anya is crying, whenever Anya poops, and when her feeding pump is beeping. She is very gentle with her and always washes her hands.<br />
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and finally, both my girls in their car seats :)<br />
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On Wednesday I took Emoree to Weber's Farm while Grandma watched Anya. It was fun just Emoree and me time :)<br />
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Some people say that breast feeding or holding your baby while bottle feeding them is the best way to bond with them. With some babies, that isn't an option. Anya is fed 95% through her g-tube and we have had no problem bonding. I sometimes even feel like I am bonding better with Anya than I did with Emoree at this age. </div>
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And here are some of the "newborn" pictures I've been waiting forever to take. :)</div>
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and here is her birth announcement I am going to be mailing out to family :) <br />
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<br />Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-27442967136179253642012-10-15T07:34:00.000-07:002012-10-15T07:34:07.008-07:007 Weeks OldAlot has happened in the last 3 weeks, the good, the bad, and the downright frustrating :) Hence why I have had no time to update my blog :( <br />
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I guess this is a good place to start. Two weeks ago, I got Emoree another family visit :) So she has now seen her baby sister twice in 7 weeks. She is so excited about her, and she asks me about her everyday. She wants to know what she is "eating", if I changed her diaper, if she was crying, if she was sleeping... she asks me everyday. I have not missed one day of going to the hospital to be with Anya, and I have also taken a picture of her every single day of her life so far too :) Anyway, here are a few pics from our family visit:<br />
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It was everyone's first time holding Anya, except for me, obviously :) Emoree is so excited to be a big sister <3</div>
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Now, for the not so fun. Friday, October 5th, Anya was scheduled for GJ tube/Nissen surgery. I was a little hesitant on the Nissen procedure, but after they actually decided to explain it to me and said it would help with her reflux, all was good. I went to the hospital to be with her before they took her, and she was so fussy and unconsolable. Her sats would dip because she was so upset. She was hungry, exhausted, but NPO for surgery so they couldn't feed her, she was just on IV fluids. Then they come in and tell me that her feeding tube surgery was cancelled, that because her sats are dropping and they had to turn up her oxygen so they want to do a cardiac cath instead. I was so not expecting this, I was so upset. My mom left work to come stay with me while Anya was in for her cath procedure, it was a few hours. Turns out, her heart looks great. There was only slight narrowing between her right ventricle and pulmonary arteries, so they ballooned it to widen it but it wasn't enough to explain her de-sats. <br />
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On Monday October 8th, they decided to do a ph probe test to see how bad her reflux is, to see if doing a Nissen was necessary. Finally, something that made a little sense. During the test, they put in an NG tube to feed her, but then would have to take it out after feeds and meds to get an accurate measure on reflux. This seemed to be the "magic" cure for Anya, removing the NG tube. She totally went off of the nasal cannula! It seems the NG tube was causing her reflux, which led to her desats. Take it out, and her reflux is minimal. So on Wednesday October 10th, Anya had G-tube surgery and it went great. No Nissen, no J tube. Just a "traditional" G-tube. She has been off of oxygen support since. I am now more than ever ready to bring her home <3<br />
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Check me out, with NOTHING on my face!!! Most of you already know, but the big day is tomorrow!!! This past Friday, someone from John Hopkins Peds Home Care brought me Anya's feeding pump that we will be using at home and taught me how to use it. The rest of her feeding supplies and formula are being delivered today between 5-9pm (because of my crappy insurance, her Enfaport formula is not covered, and I have a lovely $272 bill coming to me soon for her formula, but whatever it takes to get her home!). Her prescriptions were given to me on Thurs-Fri and I picked most of them up on Saturday (one I need to get the day she is discharged because it is only good for 14 days from the day it is mixed). I've learned how to give her all of her meds, including her lovenox injections that she gets 2x/day. I've watched the g-tube video, and the infant CPR video. Her carseat has been installed in my car for weeks. I am SOOO BEYOND READY to bring my baby home!!!<br />
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Yesterday was my first day back to work since 170 days ago, the end of April. It was quite a surreal experience, but went better than I expected because I was terrified to go back :) Trimming dogs faces took me a little longer than it used to but everything else I did pretty quickly and all went well :) I'm only working weekends (all Satudays, and about every other Sunday), so it works out to only 3 days in October, 6 days in November, and I'm working a few extra in December for the holidays so that will be 9 days. Not too bad! <br />
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Here are a few Anya pics from the last 2 weeks:<br />
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Now I can't wait to take pictures of her at HOME. Unattached from all the wires (respiratory lines & pulse ox). She will have a pulse ox monitor at home, but I only have to spot check her, not leave it on.</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-73603938665828655902012-09-24T07:42:00.001-07:002012-09-24T07:42:31.082-07:00Anya is 4 weeks old! & Change of plans...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The date was set. Anya was to come home on Tuesday, as in tomorrow. I went out and bought a new pack-n-play (since sadly Emoree's that I had kept in the attic got ruined), got the swing set up, the bouncy seat, filled the diaper stackers with little preemie diapers (she is still under 6lbs), I picked out her dress that she would wear home, everything is ready. I was going to stay at the hospital over the weekend to learn how to use her NG feeding tube and administer her medications (she is on 9 different meds!). I got to the hospital on Saturday afternoon, and wasn't informed about this change of plans beforehand. Anya isn't coming home tomorrow. She was marked by OT as "poor PO feeds" (which means she didn't take to bottle feeding well), and somewhere along the way they changed their minds about letting her come home with the NG tube. They have also now decided she may have reflux issues (which many HLHS babies deal with), because her sats drop a little after feedings. She will possibly have a swallow study done this week. <br />
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This picture is from Thursday morning, I was there when OT came in to try bottle feeding with her. She took 25ml (out of 50ml) at this feeding!! The next morning she took 20ml. I don't know what happened during the afternoon feeds (they try bottle feeding twice a day, to not tire her out), but it seems they didn't go as well as her morning feeds. My biggest frustration over this past weekend: Occupational Therapy (OT) staff isn't there on the weekends typically, so over the weekend that I spent most of with her, she wasn't able to progress with her feeding. Luckily, there was someone there on Sunday and I was there for both of those feeds, the first she took 25ml, and the second one she only took 7ml because she was fussy and sleepy. <br />
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Her surgeon gave 3 options to me. Option 1 is that she can get a g-tube at 6 weeks old, and come home with that. I know quite a few babies who have done well with this option, and if she has extended feeding issues that could eventually be an option, but I was slightly offended that it was given to me as an option only 3 days into trying to bottle feed her. I felt like they weren't giving her a chance. Option 2 is going to Mt. Washington Pediatric Hospital. This option is like a "step down" unit sort of option and she would be there is soley work on feeding skills, and that is something they specialize in. Option 3 is staying at UMMC and working on feeding skills with their OT staff (whom I'm already annoyed with). My choice right now is to not choose, I want to see how she does with her feeds over the next few days and then decide. I'm halfway on the fence of standing my ground to bring her home with the NG tube, or to send her to Mt. Washington. With Mt. Washington, I want to see their facility first. I want to know she will still be monitored from a cardiology stand point. I also want to see how many kids/babies she will be "roomed" with, because I want to limit her exposure. Having one roommate at UMMC (and their family that NEVER leaves) is more than enough. With Mt. Washington, Emoree may get to visit her more than she can now at UMMC. <br />
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This will make anyone an expert at changing diapers. Yea, just try and change her stinky diaper around all of those wires, and not being able to remove them. That is what I spent my weekend doing, its one of the only things they LET me do with her.</div>
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Here are some pics from Anya & I's weekend together... we spent most of the weekend cuddling and playing dress up :) I hate that all of my pics lately are from my phone... but at the hospital its easier than lugging around my SLR camera. I cannot wait to have her home and take a million more better quality photos!!!!</div>
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I just called to check on her this morning and they are going to see how she does without the nasal cannula today (yay!! no more oxygen hopefully!), and OT is going to do her 11AM feed and another in the afternoon. They are starting her referral to Mt. Washington, even if we decide to not go there they said they want to have it ready. Her surgeon wants to give her 2 days to see how she does with feeds and then re-assess her, and I agree with that. </div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-58050578763466517192012-09-19T08:11:00.001-07:002012-09-19T08:11:55.258-07:00I have a secret... :o)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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You want to know what it is? I can't contain it much longer. Anya's doctor said the "H" word the other day!!! No date set yet, but if all continues to go well, Anya could be HOME sometime next week!!!! Crazy happy dance!! Last week I felt like it would be another month... but it doesn't look like it now! It's the question I've been afraid to ask, and they answered it for me :) She still has a few steps to go, however.<br />
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Step #1: Weaning her off of oxygen. Simply, she needs to be able to keep her sats up without oxygen. She is on a low flow nasal cannulla at 30% oxygen currently.<br />
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Step #2: These pesky chest tubes! Luckily, one was taken out yesterday. She still has nemothorax (sp?) which is an air pocket under her left lung, and interventional radiology is working on it again today, they are unsure if they will have to replace the tube or just move it around to try and get to the air pocket. They also don't know why it is there, or if it ever went away (and came back) in the first place. Either way, I'm really hoping we overcome this step TODAY. It doesn't seem to phase her though, other than it could be the possible reason for her high respiratory rate.<br />
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Step #3: Feeding. This is a tricky one. Speech therapy tried working with her yesterday on bottle feeding, and her respiratory rate was too high for them to try and bottle feed her. HOWEVER, this morning, she took 10ml by bottle for them, yay!!! They will also try again with her this evening. Here is that "h" word again... I talked to her surgeon the other night and he is comfortable with her coming home with an ng tube (the feeding tube in her nose), and I told him I was comfortable with learning how to use it as well. Which means, we will try feeds by bottle first, and whatever she doesn't finish will go into her feeding tube (because her gaining weight is the most important thing for her to get her next surgery at 4-6 months).<br />
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I'm a little nervous, as I should be, but BEYOND excited. I want her to continue to do well and for the next week to fly by. I installed her car seat in my car this week:<br />
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It's so nice to see 2 car seats in my back seat, now I can't wait until both my kiddos are in them :) (BTW, This pic is mirror image, because Emoree's seat is behind the driver's seat and Anya's is behind the passenger seat). I also have an outfit picked out for Anya to wear the day she comes home, but you can wait to see that later :)<br />
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This one is pretty special, 20 days old and Anya smiled for the first time :) This made my entire week!<div style="text-align: left;">
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Just a few more Anya pics (since I take pics of her everyday):<br />
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Playing play-doh with Emoree, I made a CHD heart <3</div>
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This is posted on the side of Anya's bed, her sternal precautions (which I believe apply for at least 8 weeks after Open Heart Surgery).<br />
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I am still pumping breastmilk for Anya, and freezing it since she can't have it for 6 weeks (due to her fat free diet). I saw my OB on Monday and she gave me a script for Reglan, so that maybe I can produce an adequate amount of milk! 5-10ml just doesn't cut it. Waiting to see if it works!<br />
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-24666575625528945292012-09-12T08:35:00.000-07:002012-09-12T08:35:36.793-07:00Two steps forward, how many back? & Sisters meet!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A lot has happened in the last week, and I just haven't had any time to update, so I'm going to break it down into a timeline.</div>
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9/5/12</div>
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Anya's respiratory rate has been high, so after 24 hours on the low flow nasal canulla she was switched to SiPAP. They tried to place a feeding tube, but it was unsucessful. Two steps forward one step back, right?</div>
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9/6/12</div>
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Today her first chest tube came out, it had actually come loose and just pulled out while her nurse was changing her diaper. They said it was no longer needed because it didn't have much output anymore. They took out her catheter too, so now she pees in her diaper :) Another unsucessful feeding tube attempt, but I got to hold her today for the first time in over a week!!! That was fantastic :)</div>
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9/7/12</div>
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Today Anya sucessfully switched from SiPAP to Vapotherm, which is a high flow nasal cannula. I was there when they switched her so I was able to take a picture of her without anything on her face :) She is taking to her pacifier well, which will help when it comes time to bottle feeding. They were able to place a feeing tube today too! She started getting her first drops of breastmilk today, they started her on 3ml and hour to see how her stomach would handle it. They also took out the second chest tube, one to go! She weighs 5.8lbs today.</div>
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9/8/12<br />
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Emoree got to meet Anya today!!! I asked the head nurse yesterday if I could bring her, and she granted one visit for Emoree. Emoree was nervous but very excited, and in the end did not want to leave. Emoree finally got to bring Anya her present, her musical seahorse. She still asks me everyday when Anya is going to come home. Lots of pictures here:<br />
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The visit with Emoree was short because the commotion was too much for Anya, her heart rate kept spiking up. So later that night I went to visit her myself, and when I got there I didn't like what I saw. Anya's nurse was not in the room (which they don't stay in the room all the time anyway now that she isn't critical) but she was crying, her hands and face were bluish, she had kicked off her pulse ox monitor and ripped off her oxygen. I tried fixing her pulse ox and when I couldn't I went to find someone, and found a doctor in the hallway. The ICU attending fixed her pulse ox and tended to her and by that time she was pink again. He then explained to me that they were waiting for x-ray on her because she kicked out her last chest tube, and that one wasn't ready to come out. A while later x-ray came and determined there was an air pocket in her chest that needed to be drained, so they set up to put a chest tube in her side and I was sent out of the room. While I was in the family waiting room, my friend Sarah (whose baby is also in the PICU) found me and let me cry and vent to her. I had never seen Anya blue before, so it scared me but it is common for these HLHS babies to turn bluish when they get upset. This chest tube attempt ended up being unsucessful, but the doctor told me that it did release the air pocket, and another x-ray confirmed this so they did not try again tonight. </div>
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9/9/12</div>
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An x-ray this morning determined that there was still fluid between Anya's left lung and her chest wall, so Dr. Kaushal put a chest tube in her left side. On the plus side, she is up to 12.5ml of formula an hour. They ran out of my breastmilk (I don't get very much), so she was put on Pregestimil formula, 20 cal. Her sats were on the low side today, upper 60s-lower 70s, and respiratory rate is still high. I tried holding her, but her sats dropped to the 50s (even though she didn't look blue at all!) and no matter what the nurse did fiddling with her pulse ox, changing it, etc, it wouldn't come up so I had to lay her back down. Also her A-line in her arm was acting up and not getting an accurate blood pressure on her. The nurse practioner looked at it and determined it was leaking, so they took out her A-line (her hand is free now!) and said when they needed to draw blood they could do it from her central line (in her neck).</div>
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9/10/12</div>
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Today was supposed to be the day that Anya would be bottle fed for the first time, but that has now been set back a couple of days. She has chylomax, which is a complication of surgery where her chest tube output is a fatty, milky fluid. She has had a lot of output from her new chest tube too. Her formula was switched to Enfaport, 24 cal, which is a fat free formula she will be on for 6 weeks, though the chyle in her output should clear up in a few days.</div>
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9/11/12</div>
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I feel like we are moving in the wrong direction, yet Dr. Kaushal still assures me that Anya is "ahead of the curve". Today Anya's chest x-ray showed fluid in the right side of her chest, so they put in a second chest tube. I thought tubes were supposed to be coming out, not going back in!</div>
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I visited Anya in the evening as well and the sight of her central line in her neck bleeding made me feel uneasy. I haven't gotten to hold her in 2 days and I'm getting discouraged. I want to hold her, feed her, bathe her, change her diaper. She is over two weeks old and I just want to be able to take care of my baby :(</div>
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Today, 9/12/12</div>
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This morning I called for an update and they told me they upped her calories in her formula to 27 cal to see how she tolerates it. So far she has done very well with the nj tube and formula. They should also be putting in a PICC line in her arm or leg today, so that hopefully her central line in her neck can come out ecspecially since they have been having issues with it recently. They informed me they will also start her on a new IV drip med today to help clear up her chylomax, which she will be on for a week or two. She was down to 1 IV drip med (a heart med), so this will make 2. Oh and her incision is healing nicely :)</div>
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I would love to bring her home within 4 weeks, right now that sounds reasonable. I want her home before I have to go back to work (though very part time) on October 14th.</div>
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For something I have waited for so long to do, Anya's room is now complete :) Everything is washed and put away, her NB clothes are hanging in her closet, and her NB shoes all lined up. Most everything used to be Emoree's, as I have kept all of Emoree's baby items. Anya really only has very few new items that I've bought or my mom has bought, and a few very cute outfits from my cousin Kim. I still need to buy a high chair (though that can wait a few months), I want to buy a video baby monitor, a bumbo seat, DIAPERS & WIPES, and a few other things I can't think of right now :)</div>
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Oh and as for me, I am now down 19 lbs, I have 6 lbs to go to pre-pregnancy weight AND my regular jeans now fit :)</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-8693618079266564552012-09-05T08:11:00.001-07:002012-09-05T13:47:20.553-07:00Emoree's 1st Day of School/Dance, & Anya is extubated!I don't think I will feel like a "Mom of 2" until Anya comes home. I just realized that yesterday, as if I forgot and thought "oh yeah, I have two kids," but I don't feel like the "Mom of 2" yet because they have two totally seperate lives right now, and haven't even met yet. <br />
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Emoree's first official day of pre-k was yesterday! She was so excited to go! Not even one tear, from EITHER of us. Grandma and I drove her to school (since I just started driving again today), and I took her in and waited with her in her pre-k line in the school gym until her teacher came. She hugged and kissed me, and said, "Bye Mommy!" and walked off with her class. She loves "Big Girl School"! I waited at the end of the hallway and watched where she couldn't see me to make sure she didn't get confused. She forgot to take her folder out of her backpack before putting it in her locker, so I went up the hallway and got it out and gave it to her, and she said "bye" again. </div>
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We picked her up at 11:45am, when Pre-K lets out, and when she realized she wasn't riding the school bus home she got quite upset. I don't know what it is about this kid and school buses! Today I did look into where the school bus would drop her off if she were to ride it, but I wasn't happy with the location so today I am going to have to explain to her that the school bus doesn't come near our house :-/ When we got in the car, she had her first day of school present waiting for her in her car seat, a big Dora pillow that I picked up at Walmart yesterday morning :)</div>
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Last night Emoree had her first dance class at A Step Ahead! She looked just as confused and bewildered as this picture the entire time, but after class was over she really lit up and was excited to tell me how much fun she had, and that she wanted to go back in and dance with her friends!! She has 30 minutes of ballet, and 30 minutes of tap on Tuesday nights.</div>
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Anya had a big day yesterday too. See what's missing? Her breathing tube!!!! I went to visit her mid-day yesterday, and it was the right timing too because they started her on her 3rd breathing trial shortly after I got there, and she did so well that the half hour wasn't even over and they were starting to bring equipment in for extubation! I asked if she would be on CPAP, and Melanie told me no she is doing well enough she would be put on a low flow nasal cannula, which is what she has on in this picture. They asked me to leave the room, and about 20 minutes later Melanie came and got me and had a huge smile. It worked! We "celebrated" by later last night I brought her the doll that Aunt Mary Ellen gave her, and her Sisters By Heart blanket. She also has a sound machine too that I brought to her earlier, because she gets startled by loud noises. <br />
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They did attempt to run an nj feeding tube in her nose, but later when they did an x-ray it was not placed correctly so they pulled it out and will try again today. Her x-ray also showed that her left lung isn't inflating completely, which can happen after coming off a ventilator, so they increased the pressure on the oxygen she is receiving and tilted her to her right side to help with her lung. I can't wait to see her today! <br />
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-63431030365764133432012-09-03T15:34:00.000-07:002012-09-03T15:34:00.795-07:001 Week OldIt's hard to believe, its already been a week since Anya has arrived after waiting for so long! It has been a very busy week too. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5cOYgVWeZhti6eYMWrviMCo1BAcrZZNvG7PedZvzFEpWX8b1gc8kYF-j5pj_aG-J42jDbFGlIwbQZN_ClnFXu5lR5xyqbKrPBMkaxRiL1BZVG6fylIm4c6Zb2J9PWvjpM6DkQFMPqE7mj/s1600/005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5cOYgVWeZhti6eYMWrviMCo1BAcrZZNvG7PedZvzFEpWX8b1gc8kYF-j5pj_aG-J42jDbFGlIwbQZN_ClnFXu5lR5xyqbKrPBMkaxRiL1BZVG6fylIm4c6Zb2J9PWvjpM6DkQFMPqE7mj/s320/005.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
Besides being 1 week old, Anya had a big day. She had her chest closed this morning!! That is the first of many post-surgery goals met. In the next few days her chest drain tubes should be removed, and Dr. Kaushal said she is doing so well so could be extubated in the next few days, but I think it could be more like a week. Then she can start feeding!!<br />
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I went to the hospital at 7AM this morning to see Anya before her chest closure. She was wide awake and looking around!! The procedure was a little over an hour, and was done right in her room, and my mom and I waited in the family waiting room. I was a little nervous when I saw the "ecmo cart" roll in the room, but I know it was just precautionary. After her chest was closed, she had an xray and then I could go see her for a few minutes. They asked me to leave the room after a few minutes because her central line in her neck was leaking and they needed to replace it, and that took at least another half hour. I stayed with her for a little while after that, then got to chat with my heart mom friend Sarah and see her 2 month old baby girl :) Anya was sedated for the procedure and they told me she would sleep all day.<br />
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~Emoree, the proud big sister she is!~</div>
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On Friday Emoree had Pre-K orientation!! She loved it and didn't want to leave. Her first "full" day (9AM-11:45AM) is on Tuesday September 4th.</div>
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On Saturday Emoree was swimming and finally decided she could take her floaties off, and she swam independently (next to the ladder) for the first time!!!!<br />
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First picture was taken 3 hours before Anya was born, and the 2nd one was taken yesterday! 15lbs difference! 9lbs to go to pre-pregnancy weight.<br />
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-77189935322340361232012-09-01T14:47:00.000-07:002012-09-01T14:53:40.261-07:00Norwood Surgery Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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PLEASE BE AWARE: Further down in this post (starting 8/30/2012) contains post-surgical photos that could be alarming to some.</div>
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Wednesday, August 29th, 2012<br />
I had my alarm set on my phone for 5:30AM, but I was up before that anyway. Luckily I was still inpatient, as Anya was only 2 days old, on the day of her first big open heart surgery. I was anxious to get to the NICU and spend as much time with her before they wheeled her away. Surgery was scheduled for 7:30AM, and they said they would likely take her before that. My mom and I went to the NICU and I didn't think I was going to get to hold her, but to my surprise her nurse did let me hold her. I was still holding her at 7:15AM when they asked us to leave for nurse shift change, I was surprised and anxious because they had not taken her yet. 7:40AM I was allowed back in the NICU, and I stood next to her holding her hand for about a half hour before they came in and wheeled her away. I was in tears before they even started down the hallway, and I followed them until they were in the elevator. My baby was going to major surgery.<br />
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I went back to my room, cried some more, and then calmed down and ate some breakfast and took a shower. After that, I decided I wanted to try and pump for the first time, but even after 20 minutes I didn't get anything. I distracted myself for awhile watching TV and playing games and checking FB on my phone. My nurse came in and checked on me once in awhile, knowing Anya was in surgery. They were planning on letting me stay in my room until 4PM, because I thought, it being a 6 hour surgery, that I would be able to see Anya by then. That isn't how it turned out.<br />
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At 12:30PM, I got a phone call update from the OR nurse that Anya was doing well, but surgery was delayed and the first incision was not made until 11AM, and that surgery would be 5-6 hours from then. She wasn't even on bypass yet.<br />
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My nurse came in and asked about updates shortly after that call, and I told her what was going on. Unfortunately they couldn't let me stay in the room until evening, they needed it, so I ended up getting discharged at 1PM. We packed up my stuff, and my mom took it all to the car. We went up to the PICU family waiting room and sat and waited for updates.<br />
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At 2PM, I was exhausted, depressed, and had a breakdown. All I could think of was I was supposed to be taking my baby HOME right now, and I didn't even know if she was going to live at this point. I cried for awhile and fell asleep on my mom's lap.<br />
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At 3:30, Melanie, the P.A., came in and gave us an update. Anya was stable and doing well, still in surgery and on bypass, and they were starting to warm her. These simple words made me feel so much better.<br />
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At 4PM, my mom and I went downstairs to get something to eat. I couldn't stand to sit there much longer. A little while later, MomMom and Poppy Corder got there and sat with us, which made it a little easier, but I was in so much pain from my stitches I couldn't get comfortable.<br />
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At 5PM, Surgery was complete, and they were going to start taking her off bypass. Melanie told us to expect it to be at least an hour or two until the next update.<br />
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At 7PM, I was so happy to see Dr. Kaushal. He came in and told us that surgery went extremely well, so well infact that he felt like he could have closed her chest, but he decided to leave it open since she would swell more over the next few days. <br />
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For the next 45 minutes, Poppy Cordner paced the hallway waiting to see them bring Anya up to her room. He kept giving me updates, as I was in too much pain to get up and check myself. He would tell me when there were a bunch of people standing outside her door waiting, and when people would go in and out of her room. After we figured out she was in her room, we waited about 10 minutes before going down there. <br />
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There was so much going on. I nervously waited in the hallway right outside her room looking in, until someone asked "Are you mom?" and I nodded. They asked me to come in, and started telling me how well she did. They told me what medications she is hooked up to. Her nurse Bobbie kept talking to me while she was very busy working on Anya. I looked at my baby, and underneath of everything she was hooked to, I could still see her. She was a little pale, but not blue at all. She was still beautiful. Doctors were going in and out of her room, and her surgeon came in and talked to me again, and assured me she did very well. He said the next 12 hours are critical, but that was she doing well. <br />
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Meanwhile, I was in a lot of pain from my stitches. I couldn't stand still, I kept trying to shift my weight to get comfortable but I couldn't. At one point, I went out in the hallway and sat down because I couldn't stand anymore. I was upset because I had waited all day to see my baby, I had seen her for 10 minutes and I couldn't stand long enough to stay in her room. I went back in for 10 more minutes and said goodnight to her, and then my mom and MomMom Cordner helped me walk down the hallway and out of the hospital. Walking to the garage to the car, we saw Dr. Kaushal again. He talked to us some more while we walked, he even slowed down to my painfully slow pace to talk to us for a little longer. It made me feel better about Anya that he cared that much. <br />
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It was nice to go home though, because I missed Emoree. She gave me a big hug and kept saying "Mommy, you are home! I missed you Mommy!" This made many things better <3<br />
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Thursday, August 30th, 2012<br />
I called first thing in the morning to check on Anya. They said she had a good night and was stable <3 We got Emoree ready for daycare, dropped her off, and I was absolutely content sitting by her bedside for 3.5 hours, there was no place else I wanted to be. My friend Sarah stopped in to say hi and meet Anya, her baby girl is two months old with the same heart defect and still in the PICU.<br />
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Under all of this I still see my baby girl. Her chest is open (hence the bandages), she has 3 chest tubes, an IV in her neck and left arm, and lines in her right arm and foot. The tube in her nose is the oxygen (intubation). The patch on her head (and one over her kidney) just tracks her blood flow through the skin in those areas. Her blood pressure was a little low today, but she is on meds for that. Her sats were ranging in the low to mid 70s.</div>
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I called at night to check on her before going to bed, and she is still doing well, and they started her on TPN (IV nutrition) and Lipids (IV fats).</div>
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Friday, August 31st, 2012</div>
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I called in the morning and got another good update. They are talking about closing her chest on Sunday! Dr. Kaushal originally said Monday or Tuesday. She is doing well with draining fluids, her swelling is going down. They took her off of the paralytic as well, but she is still sedated.</div>
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It was the BEST thing to go in and see her eyes open!!!! I stayed with her for 3 hours, and she is doing fantastic. She kept her eyes open for much of the time I was there. Her oxygen was at 40%, and her nurse moved it down to 35%. She handled it very well. A little while later she tried to decrease it to 30%, but after a little while Anya's sats dropped in the low 70s so she put it back at 35%. She is looking good!<br />
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When I called in the evening, Elizabeth, the nurse, had said Anya responded very well to me being there with her today! <br />
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Saturday, September 1st, 2012<br />
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I called this morning and the nurse told me that Anya was taken off of her blood pressure meds overnight, and is handling it very well. She had a blood transfusion this morning too (which is typical during and after surgery). Her oxygen was also decreased to 21%!!<br />
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This morning I woke up and felt little hard knots in my breasts, so I decided to pump. It might be drops to someone else, but I was excited to pump 8ml of breastmilk for Anya! I put it on ice and took it in today for them to freeze for when they feed Anya in the next coming weeks. <br />
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I was unaware that children under 12, even siblings, are not allowed in the PICU. Emoree was excited about meeting Anya today, and Anya has been doing so well I thought it might be the right time. We were all disapointed to find out we need to arrange special permission through the head nurse for Emoree to come in, and even that won't happen for awhile.<br />
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I stayed with Anya for a little over an hour today, because Emoree was getting antsy out in the waiting area with my mom and MomMom Cordner. They took out one of Anya's umbilical IVs today. They also told me that her chest closure is going to be on Monday, not tomorrow. It was nice to see her moving her arms and legs a little. She seemed a little agitated today though, ecspecially when the nurse had to do anything with her. I just have to keep reminding myself little steps, one day at a time.<br />
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-32290846455911033452012-09-01T13:33:00.002-07:002012-09-01T13:35:41.197-07:00Anya Leigh Wockenfuss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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~Anya Leigh Wockenfuss, 1 day old~</div>
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I'm a few days behind, obviously I've been a little busy :) Anya Leigh Wockenfuss was born at 3:24AM on Monday, August 27th 2012. She weighs 6lbs 2.8oz and is 18" long. My labor was less than 3.5 hours, and I got my VBAC!! I will warn you now, this post contains bloody birth photos.<br />
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Saturday August 25th I had decided to "deep clean" the living room to get rid of all the dust and cat hair. I was literally scrubbing the walls and on my hands and knees scrubbing the baseboards. I figured it would just be a bonus if I went into labor, right? Well, it didn't put me into labor, or so I thought... I started leaking a tiny amount of fluid, and didn't think anything of it until the next morning. It really was just a tiny amount. I went all day Sunday wondering whether or not it was amniotic fluid, even until almost 10PM Sunday night when I called my OB's after hours line and asked what they thought. They said for the small amount I was describing, it probably isn't amniotic fluid, so that eased my mind some and I went to bed.<br />
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~12:20AM, Last picture of me pregnant! 37w5d~</div>
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Two hours later, at exactly midnight, I woke up as I was repositioning myself in bed and I felt the definite "this is my water breaking" gush. I got up and went to the bathroom, and let my mom know "this is definitely it!". She called Mom-Mom Cordner to come meet us so we could go to the hospital.<br />
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~3:14AM, trying to rest before pushing~</div>
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I had my first contraction at 12:23AM 8/27/12. My second was at 12:30AM. By the time I had the third at 12:36AM, we were in the car on the way to the hospital, a 15-20 minute drive that is much quicker in the middle of the night rather than during rush hour. We got to the hospital at about 12:50AM and contractions were 5 minutes apart. It only took them minutes to get me into a room, and contractions were already 2 minutes apart. At about 1:30AM they checked my cervix and it was 5.5cm dilated, and 100% effaced. My blood pressure was very high, so they put oxygen on me. At this point I wasn't getting any time to rest between contractions, and I requested an epidural. By 2AM the anesthesiologist was in the room. It took over 45 minutes from the time they came in the room until they had the epidural in. It took so long to position me on the bed, wait between contractions that never stopped, and then I got poked 3 times to get it in just right. Compared to having contractions at the same time, the epidural did not hurt at all, honestly! I was 10 cm & +1 station and ready to push by 3AM and the epidural was finally in. I did two sets of pushes before deciding that I wanted to try and rest through the next few contractions so she could come down on her own.<br />
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I only got to rest through 2 or 3 contractions before Anya started having decels in her heart rate, so they said it was time to push. After less than 10 minutes of pushing, Anya was out at 3:24AM! She cried right away loud and clear, and she looked GOOD! She wasn't blue at all! In fact, her apgar scores were 9/9! Within 2 minutes they took her out of the room to clean her up and access her. I was very happy that MomMom Cordner got to cut her cord!<br />
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I didn't expect them to bring her back in to me, that was a great relief to see she was stable enough that I could actually HOLD her for a minute!! It was just a minute, but it was the best one :) Then they took her away to the NICU.</div>
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The birth photos are extra bloody because I lost a LOT of blood, 1200cc. It was more than with my c-section with Emoree, when I lost 800cc. At first I was afraid I had uterine rupture, which is a risk of a VBAC, but it wasn't. I was torn up internally and externally, and had to have an hour of what I call "vaginal reconstruction surgery", because they literally spent an hour stitching me back up, at least 15 stitches. For this I was very greatful for my choice to get the epidural!! Sometime either during or after the stitching I almost passed out and they had to put me back on oxygen. A few hours later once the epidural started to wear off, I was in serious burning pain and begged for pain medicine, which they brought me 2 percocet which made me sleepy ALL DAY. </div>
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~1st NICU photo, 3 hours old~</div>
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Grandma & MomMom Cordner got to see her in the NICU first, at about 6:30AM while I tried to sleep. She looks so good for being a heart baby!!!</div>
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It seemed like it was taking them forever to decide to move me from Labor & Delivery down to the Postpartum Unit. They did have to wait for x-ray come in to do an x-ray on me first, because they lost a piece of gauze during delivery and had to make sure it wasn't inside me. Luckily, it wasn't. Around 11:30AM was the first time I attempted to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. The nurse helped me into the bathroom, and I immediately started feeling strange and asked for help... they got me back into the wheelchair just in time because I passed out cold! I was awoken by my mom yelling at me and slapping my face, and then right after they put oxygen back on me I didn't know where I was, I thought I was in a different room. They left me sitting in the wheelchair for a little bit before moving me down to the Postpartum Unit.</div>
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Once downstairs in my room, I took a nap for a little bit before they finally brought me lunch at 2PM. Poppy Cordner brought me a special doughnut :) The Cordners left, and my parents had to leave to take Emoree to her pre-k meeting to meet her new teacher, which Emoree enjoyed. Meanwhile, around 3PM my nurse took me to the NICU to see Anya for the first time :) I would have gotten to go sooner, but with how dizzy I was I wasn't stable enough to go earlier. It was nice seeing her, but I couldn't stay long. It is so hot in the NICU, and I was getting sleepy. My parents brought Emoree up to the hospital afterwards to see me, and Emoree got to open her big sister present :) She couldn't go to the NICU to see Anya because she had started with a cold on Friday.</div>
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After my dad and Emoree left, my mom and I went back to the NICU so that I could see her again and get pictures of her. My mom stayed with me both nights.<br />
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The next day, my mom and I woke up by 5:30AM and couldn't go back to sleep, so we decided it was a good time to go see Anya. We stayed until shift change at 7AM, when they ask all visitors to leave during change of shifts. We went back to my room, and I had breakfast, they took my IV out, and I took a shower. My mom left for a few hours to do some things at home, so I went back to the NICU to visit Anya and take more pictures of her :)<br />
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Anya's sats were running a little higher than the cardiologists wanted them to, but she was stable and doing well so she did not need to be intubated before surgery :) At this point, she had 1 IV in her arm, and two in her umbilical artery. Dr. Kaushal came in and talked to me on Tuesday (when Anya was 1 day old), and told me that surgery would be the next day, at 7:30AM. I was surprised and relieved, knowing that at 2 days old Anya was stable enough to have her first open heart surgery.</div>
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So that night before her surgery, I made sure I got to hold Anya as much as I could :) I was absolutely content sitting there for 3 hours holding her, not caring at all that my dinner was sitting in my room getting cold. Her MomMom, Poppy, and Aunt Mary Ellen also came to see her that night too. After they left, my mom and I went back to say goodnight to Anya around 11PM, knowing we would be up early the next morning.</div>
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So that is my little miracle! Her surgery day will be in a seperate/next post to come.</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-20813721294651401082012-08-24T12:14:00.004-07:002012-08-24T15:07:23.846-07:0037 Weeks & 2 Days<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Yes, I'm still pregnant. It's a big shock to me too! Notice I am no longer counting how many days I've been on bed rest, since I kinda gave up bed rest last week now that Anya is term and considered safe to enter the world. My mom and I took Emoree to the zoo on Sunday and my sole intention was to walk this baby out! I ended up with hurting swollen feet and a few contractions, that is all. Either way, Emoree had a fun day out. I asked her what animal she wanted to see most, and she said zebras, I think it is because she has been watching Madagascar lately.<br />
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Monday at my OB appointment I was happy to hear that I am now 3cm dilated and 75% effaced, so maybe walking around the zoo did help! Last OB appointment is scheduled for Wednesday August 29th @ 8:30AM. Induction is still set for September 5th (I will be 39weeks), but rather than going in the night before, my OB wants me to go in at 6AM on the 5th because she thinks I will labor fast. Anya has been moving less, so I have been trying to pay more attention to when she does move. She is running out of room! Sometimes I have to lay down to get her to move now. I have been having a lot of small, non-painful contractions this week, and everytime I get a few in a row (I notice when they are about 10 minutes apart) I get excited.. but then they slow down. Last night I was getting really excited because I had stronger contractions every 7-10 minutes for over 2 hours, but again, they stopped :( I woke up at 5AM this morning disapointed that I was not in labor.<br />
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If I am successful in my attempt at a VBAC, I am happy that both of Anya's Grandmas (my mom, and Mom-Mom Cordner) will be in the delivery room with me :)<br />
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Yesterday I had my last growth scan! I am happy to say Anya is weighing approximately 6lbs 7oz as of yesterday. I also had my non-stress test as well, and I had 2 small contractions while I was on that monitor but nothing remarkable. Anya is still doing well. Last non-stress test is scheduled for 8AM on Thursday August 30th.<br />
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<a href="http://www.expectnet.com/games/AnyaBday" target="_blank">Guess Anya's Birthday & Birth weight!</a></div>
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Since I had a more recent growth scan, everyone who has entered a guess for Anya's birthday/weight can go ahead and edit their options, or if you haven't guessed go ahead an enter one!!! Go to <a href="http://www.expectnet.com/">http://www.expectnet.com</a> and enter game name AnyaBday .<br />
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Yesterday after daycare I decided to have a photoshoot with Emoree since she is starting dance class soon, and I haven't done an organized photoshoot with her since before her birthday. So here is Ballerina Emoree!!<br />
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I feel like lately my blog posts have been a bit more "optimistic" and not really getting to the point of how critical Anya will be after she is born. Thanks to my friend Sarah and lots of other heart moms, I have an idea of what to expect after she is born, and before and after surgery. I want my closer friends and family to know what to expect, because I know many of my friends want to meet her, but for many that won't be an option until she is several months old and I hope people can understand that. She has a very complex congenital heart defect. You may know someone who is living with some type of heart defect, it's quite common (1 in 100 births), but Anya ended up with one of the most severe that without open heart surgery is 100% fatal. She literally has half of a functioning heart, and while surgery can re-route the "plumbing" and function of her heart, there is no way to build the left two chambers of her heart so short of transplant (which unfortunately sometimes is necessary), she will live with a single ventricle heart. </div>
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From what I understand, when she is first born I will merely get to see her, there most likely won't be any time for me to hold her, depending on her respiratory status at birth. They will quickly take her away to the NICU to get her stabilized and start IVs. She needs to be put on an IV medication called "prostaglandins" right away to keep her PDA (a fetal shunt that typically closes within hours after birth) open to keep oxygen and bloodflow to her brain and the rest of her body. She will be hooked up to a pulse oximeter and heart monitor. The pediatric cardiac team will evaluate her and do an echocardiogram so they can get a clearer picture of her heart defect. While I will be recovering from her birth anyway, the NICU needs at least 1.5-2 hours to get her stabilized, evaluated, and hooked up to everything before I can go see her. </div>
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The first surgery is called the Norwood procedure, and it is typically performed at 3-6 days old. She is kept on the prostaglandin IV up until this surgery, which an unfortunate side effect is it can cause respiratory distress. She may or may not need supplemental oxygen or to be intubated before surgery. Once she is intubated, it makes my options of getting to hold her difficult or impossible because she will be critical. The surgery is typically 4-6 hours. She will be on a heart/lung bypass machine during surgery, while her heart is operated on. The need for blood transfusions is also common. This surgery is the first of at least 3 open heart surgeries she will need early in life. After surgery she will be taken off bypass, but will remain intubated for days or weeks. Surgery causes swelling, and her chest will not be closed right away. It will be bandaged, but it may not be closed for up to a week. She will also have up to 3 chest tubes draining excess blood/fluids and multiple IV lines among everything else. Day by day, one be one, I am told that these lines, tubes, and medications will come off of her.</div>
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I will likely post most pictures of her here on my blog rather than on Facebook, because post-op can look scary and I don't want those pictures floating around FB. For those of you that I can take to visit Anya, I will most likely not allow any visitors during her first week post-op, particularly while her chest is still open. Also if you plan to visit in the hospital or awhile later when she is home, you will get used to me asking you if you have been sick in the last week, if you feel like you could be coming down with something, or if you have been around anyone sick in the last week. This is necessary for me to protect my baby, because particularly until after she has her second open heart surgery (at 4-6 months old) a simple cold could be fatal to her. I will also ask that you see her pictures that I post here before visiting her in the hospital, because for someone who isn't used to it, seeing a baby in the NICU/PICU hooked up to a dozen wires/etc can be overwhelming.</div>
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At what point she will come home greatly varies. If everything goes smooth and she doesn't have issues with feedings, the soonest she could be home is at 4 weeks old. More common is 5-6 weeks old. Feeding issues are very common for these babies with heart defects because they are not able to be fed right when they are born. Before the Norwood procedure, she will be kept nourished via IV fluids. She will most likely be introduced formula via a feeding tube that goes in through her mouth or nose directly into her stomach days after surgery. She will be given a pacifier to help promote her sucking reflex. She will eventually be introduced to a bottle, but this can take days, weeks, or months for a heart baby to get the hang of, and reflux can be a common side effect too.</div>
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Once she eventually comes home, she may or may not still be on a feeding tube. She will come home with a pulse oximeter and a baby scale at the very least, because making sure that she gains weight during interstage (the time between surgery #1 & #2) is crucial. All visitors will be asked if you have been sick or around anyone sick, and you will have to wash your hands before touching her. Anyone who smokes will not be allowed to touch/hold her unless you bring a clean change of clothes to put on before touching/holding her, because otherwise this can compromise her breathing. </div>
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Any woman who gets pregnant looks forward to bringing home and bonding with their newborn. Everyday I still mourn that I will not get to "bond" with Anya like most new moms get to with their baby. Yes, I chose to get pregnant, but the thought that something like this could happen to me and my baby never occured in my worst nightmares. So while some of you may think that it is ridiculous that I ask you if you have been sick, or to change your clothes and wash your hands before visiting my baby, I really don't care because I have to do everything I can to protect her because she will in no way be a typical newborn.</div>
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I have to go back to work (part-time) six weeks after Anya is born. One of my biggest concerns is that at that point she may still be in the hospital, and I will never have that "maternity leave" time home with her before returning to work. I'm afraid that I won't get to visit her in the hospital as often as I'd like, because with Emoree starting pre-k I will have to be home most days with her because pre-k is only 2.5 hours a day M-F and while Emoree is allowed to come with me to visit Anya, children aren't allowed to visit in the NICU/PICU on a regular basis, it can only be a "once in a while" thing. </div>
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Emoree's last week at Celebree is next week. While I know I only have 12 days or less until induction day, I would love for Anya to be born sometime in the next week so that I at least don't miss taking Emoree to her first week of pre-k, because it is going to be a big enough transition for her going to a new school that I feel like if I'm not able to be home to take her, it will make it harder on her. Getting her used to going to Celebree was tough enough. </div>
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Bags are officially packed, I just need to wrap Emoree's "big sister" present and put it in my bag. This is my hospital bag, Anya's hospital bag, and my crocheting bag.<br />
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This week I made a fabric cover for Anya's baby book. Emoree & Anya have the same type of baby book (special order it doesn't include any "daddy" pages).<br />
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This is Anya's NICU blanket I crocheted this week. It is only 24"x24", perfect size for a NICU incubator or a PICU hospital crib.<br />
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Just a quick collage I made of Anya's ultrasound pictures!!</div>
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and a collage of my belly pics. I see definite growth in the last 2 weeks!</div>
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37 Weeks: 213.0 lbs (+ 24.4 lbs)</div>
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I truly hope that my next update is Anya's birth story...</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-8739869448890762872012-08-22T09:52:00.002-07:002012-08-22T09:52:33.415-07:00Emoree Lillian Wockenfuss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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With Anya's birth approaching, I decided that Emoree needs her own post that includes her birth story. (Thanks to my friend Sarah for the idea!) So here is all about Emoree's last 4 years.<br />
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Emoree isn't named after anyone, I kind of came up with her name on my own. I knew I wanted something unique that you didn't hear everyday. Her middle name Lillian is after her great-grandmother.<br />
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I always wanted a baby. Even more so, I always wanted to be pregnant, the baby was just an added bonus in the end. I was the person who could never leave a store without looking at the clearance baby clothes, and ended up with a stock pile in my cedar chest when I was only 18 or 19 years old. I had planned for a long time that I was going to have a baby and not wait to meet the "right person". A good friend introduced me to fertility treatment via donor sperm, and this sounded like the perfect option for me. It didn't matter to me one bit that I was 21 years old. I do have infertility issues, so it isn't like I could have easily gotten pregnant naturally. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and no menstrual cycle, which means I do not ovulate. I had to take fertility medications to get pregnant anyway. I started the process in August 2007, and it took 3 cycles to get pregnant in October 2007. It was confirmed I was pregnant on November 5, 2007.<br />
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This is the last picture of me pregnant with Emoree. This is 5 days before she was born, it was Memorial Day weekend, I had just finished up an academy at work the day before so we decided to take a day trip to Ocean City, MD to subside my craving for Thrasher's french fries. It definitely wasn't warm enough to get in the water, but nice enough to lay on the beach for an hour or two :) The day before I had Emoree I was riding around in my Jeep, top down, I could do just about anything. It was a very easy pregnancy and I was enjoying it, and I was definitely not ready for it to be over.<br />
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6:30AM on Friday, May 30th, 2008, I woke up to get ready for work and found to my suprise that I had lost my mucus plug. I was 33 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and wasn't too worried about it because I had a friend who had lost her plug 2 weeks before she had her baby. I always had a feeling in the back of my mind that I would never make it to term (Emoree's due date was July 14, 2008), but was excited that my baby could be born in the next 2-3 weeks. I got dressed and headed to work. On the drive to work, I started feeling "wet". When I got to work just before 8AM, I called my mom to let her know, then I called my OB's office to see what they said. They said to come to the hospital to get checked out. I called my mom back, and she came to pick me up from work and take me to GBMC.<br />
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When we got to Labor & Delivery, I was still leaking but had not experienced a gush. They took me to triage where they checked me and said yes, my water is definitely leaking, but at that point (just after 9AM) I was not dilated at all. They got me into a labor room and hooked me up to the monitors and started an IV. At this point, I was not having any contractions. There was talk that I could be there for up to 2 weeks while they pushed IV fluids to try and keep Emoree in as long as possible. I was a little upset by this, because my baby shower was planned for the following weekend and I was really looking forward to it. I called work and told them I was in the hospital, my mom and I called my short term disability company to get that set up, all meanwhile I did not realize I was starting to have contractions. I was too distracted to realize it, and on the monitor it did not register any contractions.<br />
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Then I felt the gush of fluid. I told the nurse, and she said it was normal that I would continue to leak fluid. I said no this was more than a leak. They eventually checked and said yes that was probably the rest of my amniotic fluid, so when my OB got there he checked to see if I was dilated any, and to his suprise he felt Emoree's foot sticking out of my cervix! I was also 4cm dilated at that point. My mom insisted I was having contractions, and they moved the contraction monitor from the left side over to the right, and immediately the monitor started going nuts because I was in active labor. <br />
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As soon as my doctor told me I was going to have an emergency c-section, the rest of it was a bit of a blur that I remember bits and pieces of. I was one of those people who wanted to do an unmedicated birth and had never considered a c-section! Next thing I knew one nurse was shaving my lower belly (for the c-section cut) while another was putting in a catheter! They rushed me down the hall to the operating room and at this point I was no more good. I was feeling strong contractions and I was an emotional wreck. I vaguely remember entering the OR. Since she was a footling breech, they did not allow me to sit up and once i was in the operating room they inserted the spinal while I was laying on my side, then put me in position on the operating table. The spinal medication took effect quickly and I remember saying "I could do this again!", it felt good and I was so out of it but no longer in pain. My mom came in and sat by my side, and told me everything she could see going on. I remember ocassionally looking at the clock on the wall on my right side.<br />
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At 12:45pm on May 30, 2008, I heard Emoree's first cry. For a 33 weeker I was relieved to hear her cry right away. My mom told me they were cleaning her off, and trying to give her oxygen but she was fighting it. She was breathing on her own just fine. After a minute they brought her over and showed her to me, and quickly took her away to the NICU. She weighed in at 3lbs 15oz, and 17 inches long.<br />
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After Emoree was out of the room, they were continuing my surgery and closing me up. At one point my OB called everyone over to look at my uterus, because I only had half of one! He told the other staff in the room that they probably wouldn't see another one like this in their medical careers, that is how rare it is. This is when I was first diagnosed with a unicornuate uterus. At some point in which I do not remember, they told my mom she could go make phone calls and wait for me in recovery. I do not remember her leaving at all.<br />
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Next thing I knew I was in recovery. Slowly, I started getting feeling back, but all I could feel was pain. All I remember was it seemed like the nurse took FOREVER to find a battery to hook me up to a morphine pump. I was sooo out of it. I don't remember leaving recovery, but I remember being taken into my room in the postpartum unit and being transferred into the bed there. I barely remember people visiting that day too.<br />
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This is one of Emoree's first pictures, my dad took it when she was a few hours old in the NICU. I did not get to see Emoree again until she was 8-9 hours old. This was the first time I got out of bed and into a wheelchair, still hooked to an IV, morphine pump, and catheter. <br />
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They took me up two levels to the NICU to see Emoree for the first time in the NICU. This is also when I got to hold her for the first time too. The sights of the NICU didn't scare me, nor did seeing her hooked up to an IV, pulse ox, feeding tube, and other monitors. I could see her through all of that, and she was beautiful <3 Everytime I had to leave her, I cried.<br />
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I was discharged on Tuesday June 3rd, 2008. It was really hard leaving without her. Here are a few pictures of her next few days in the NICU:<br />
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She was off of the feeding tube in 3 days, and was under phototherapy lights for jaundice for two days. Her biggest goals to go home were to gain weight and maintain her body temperature. I went to see her every day. Her lowest weight was 3lbs 9.2oz. </div>
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Sunday June 8th was my baby shower, and Emoree was still in the NICU. I had a huge baby shower and received soo many gifts! I loved it.</div>
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The next day, June 9th, at 10 days old, Emoree gained an ounce and had been maintaining her body temperature for 48 hours. I was sitting in my living room re-looking through all of the bags from my baby shower, and I got a phone call from the NICU. Emoree was ready to go home. I was so excited, but panicked because nothing was ready for her. Emoree's Mom-mom and Poppy came over and put together the pack and play and the stroller while I took all the tags off of her new preemie clothes and put them in the wash. I then picked out the outfit she would wear home, and waited for my mom to get home from work so we could go pick her up.</div>
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I finally got to bring my little baby doll home <3</div>
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Emoree in 2008:<br />
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Emoree in 2011:</div>
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Emoree in 2012:</div>
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Emoree starts pre-k at Sussex Elementary School in less than two weeks! My baby girl is growing up so fast. She is excited about starting "big girl" school, and I am looking forward to spending more time with her (pre-k is only 2.5hrs M-F) and saying bye-bye to nap time!!! At daycare they take naps and she ends up being awake past 11PM, so giving up naptime is a good thing because then she falls asleep at a reasonable hour. She is a sassy little drama queen who likes to shake her booty :) She is excited about becoming a big sister too. She loves Disney Princesses and Dora, but right now her favorite movie is The Lorax because it was the first movie she saw in a theater and she makes us watch it now every night. She loves to wear dresses and skirts, and hates jeans or anything non-stretchy. </div>
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I love you princess!!!</div>
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<br />Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-15665572060555981312012-08-17T08:44:00.000-07:002012-08-17T08:44:15.134-07:0036 Weeks & 2 Days: Bed Rest Day 114<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So I made it to 36 weeks... here that Anya? You are welcome to make your way into the world anytime now. Technically starting at 37 weeks is considered full term, and I have 5 days to go on that... but my doctor's consider my due date to be 4 days ahead of what I say so as far as they are concerned I am 37 weeks tomorrow! Many of my friends/family birth predicitions fall in this week. My aunt said the 15th, that has passed. A family friend says today the 17th because it is the new moon. Well, I'm not in labor yet. My guess has always been August 18th, tomorrow. I'd still be very content with that. My mom says August 20th, and I had a dream the other night that it was the 23rd. Anyway I look at it, I have 19 days or less to go, because induction day is set for September 5th. Emoree's first day of pre-k and her first dance class is September 4th, and if I make it that far I will check-in to L&D at 8PM on Sept 4th, right after Emoree's dance class.<br />
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Monday was my 36 week OB check up. I found out my GBS test came back positive, which means while I am in labor I will have to receive 2 doses of IV antibiotics to prevent Anya from getting pneumonia. This was no shock to me because it was also positive when I had Emoree, but I ended up in c-section before the second dose of antibiotics so they ended up giving Emoree IV antibiotics to prevent any infection. I also asked about if my difficult to locate cervix would cause any issues with having a vaginal birth, and luckily my OB said no that won't matter at all. <br />
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Yesterday I had a fetal echo that looked good for what they could see. The tech even said "I don't know why you are here at 36 weeks, the bones are too calcified to see the heart," ecspecially since Anya is head down and spine up, and has no interest in changing positions (which I don't want her to, she is set for birth!). I also found out that the pediatric cardiac surgeon that will do Anya's surgeries will be on vacation next week... so the tech told me to NOT have Anya this weekend! Well, I can't really control that and she will come when she is ready, right? Today I had a quick ultrasound that looked good too, amniotic fluid measured 11cm. Anya was behaving for the NST today too, I only had to be on it for 22 minutes because Anya was good and active today.<br />
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Last weekend we took Emoree to the park near our house and she had lots of fun, ecspecially considering I don't have the opportunity to take her as often as I used to. And of course, I had to make a photo shoot out of it too.<br />
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We were there in the evening, so I had to take advantage of the river and awesome close to sunset light :)</div>
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Emoree has made swimming progress too this week, she lost one of her floaties in the pool and kept on swimming!! Her floatie she has on has less than 50% air, because I've been gradually letting the air out to encourage stronger swimming, so she had to kick her feet to stay afloat! She also for the first time willingly put her whole head under the water!! She will be swimming on her own next summer.<br />
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36 Weeks pregnant belly shot, and Emoree wanted to join in too. My bathing suit doesn't cover my whole belly anymore :-P</div>
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36 Weeks: 209.0 lbs (+20.4 lbs)</div>
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Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-33654956611628450972012-08-09T12:12:00.001-07:002012-08-09T12:21:55.375-07:0035 Weeks & 1 Day: Bed Rest Day 106So I've made my second goal now, 35 weeks. One more week baby girl, and you can come any time!! I've also made it into triple digits of days on bed rest. Being pregnant with Emoree was easy... Being pregnant with Anya makes me glad it's my last time! <br />
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I haven't updated in 2 weeks.. last week was pretty uneventful and I really didn't have anything to say. I had a normal OB appointment, a normal NST, etc. No contractions, no pressure, nothing. This week at my OB appointment I had the GBS test (typically done at 36 weeks, I requested it a week sooner just in case I wasn't still pregnant next Monday), and I had my cervix checked and I've been holding out at 2cm and 75% effaced for over 5 weeks now! ALSO.... I have an "unofficial" induction date set for Wednesday, September 5th, in which I would go in at 8PM on September 4th to start the induction process. Not that I think I will go that far.... that would be 39 weeks.<br />
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This morning was a growth scan/ultrasound and an NST. It is quite possible that my growth scan from 2 weeks ago was inaccurate in her measurements that led to a weight of 4lbs 9oz, because there were disproportionate measurements of her limbs (my OB showed me the report on Monday). Which leads me to believe that her weight range estimate today of 4lbs 15oz to 5lbs 5oz is a little more accurate, so she is measuring small (which can be normal for a heart baby) for her gestational age. Or, she may just be running out of room in my half of a uterus. The NST took a lot longer than usual today, because Anya was sleeping for the first 25 minutes of monitoring so the nurse wasn't getting the heart rate accels that she needed to see. The second half hour Anya was moving a bit more (I actually got over 40 movements from her clocked in about a half hour).<br />
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Next week I have 3 appts... Monday is OB, Thursday is pediatric cardiology fetal echocardiogram, and Friday is ultrasound/NST.<br />
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Yesterday I was finishing up packing Anya's hospital bag. It mostly includes hats, booties, headbands, and side snap newborn shirts that make accessing everything she will have attached to her easier. Specifically they are side snap so that there aren't any snaps in the center that would sit on top of her incision after surgery.<br />
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Last week I made this hat for Anya, approx 3-6 months size.<br />
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This is a double pom-pom hat I made for Anya last week as well. It will look really cute in pictures :)</div>
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Last week we signed Emoree up for dance class (ballet & tap) starting September 4th. She is really excited about it! We took her out and bought her leotards, tights, ballet slippers, etc. and I crocheted her 2 bun covers and a pair of leg warmers.</div>
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This picture is from 1.5 weeks ago, I was 33 weeks & 4 days in this underwater pic, the same gestation I was when I had Emoree... but here I am still pregnant with Anya!!<br />
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And here is my 35 week pic from yesterday. :)<br />
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35 Weeks: 207.6 lbs (+ 19.0 lbs!!!!)<br />
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I know I'm not full-term yet, but I really hope my post next week is announcing Anya's arrival. I am so DONE with being pregnant, and I feel like she doesn't have much more room to grow.<br />
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-80877850088567321892012-07-26T12:26:00.001-07:002012-07-26T12:29:43.702-07:0033 Weeks & 1 Day: Bed Rest Day 92<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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33 Weeks... this is the week I had Emoree when I was pregnant with her. 33 Weeks & 4 days, which will be this Sunday, and I'm hoping to make it at least 2 more weeks :)<br />
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On Monday I had my weekly, uneventful OB appt. It was pretty quick, no cervix check. I asked for the first time what my fundal height (vertical belly/uterus measurement in centimeters) was, and I measured 35cm!! Which means my uterus is measuring about 2 weeks ahead. Also, I won't have cervix checks again until about 36 weeks unless I am having contractions or pressure, because if I go to 4cm dilated I will be admitted. Next appointment is again next Monday. However the last few days I've been quite uncomfortable and having tightness and pressure... not sure if I've had contractions or not, so I will probably end up with a cervix check on Monday, when I will be nearly 34 weeks. :-/<br />
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Today, Anya was the most cooperative she has ever been! Hence all of the ultrasound pictures :) She looked good and stable during the scan too. We had a growth scan today, and she is approximately 4lbs 9oz!! Yay!!!! I was also on the non-stress test monitor for only 20 minutes today because that went quite well, no contractions and Anya's heart rate was really good. Amniotic fluid measurement was the same at 11cm.<br />
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This is my favorite picture from today, her nose is smushed up and her lips are puffed out... and on the lower right side of her face you can see her fingers :)<br />
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Today I ordered Anya's infant car seat!!!! I was going to wait until after she was born (since I wouldn't need it for a few weeks after anyway), but I was on walmart.com today and it was on sale!! Free shipping too :) Anyway, I was on Walmart.com creating a baby registry (a little late, right?). Basically just so I know what items I still need to get for Anya. Not like I am having a baby shower or anything... I more so made it for my own reference. Anyway, here is my registry link: <a href="http://www.walmart.com/giftregistry/gr_detail.do?registryId=86202082160" target="_blank">*Walmart Registry for Anya*</a><br />
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Being at home for 3+ months on bed rest gets old fast.... and this week online shopping kinda kept me happy :) I was looking at Crazy8.com's summer clearance, and ordered this dress for both Emoree and Anya for next summer. I made the best guess I could on size.. Emoree is in a girl's 6/small now, so I ordered her a 7/medium for next summer... and for Anya I ordered a 12-18 months size. It is their first set of matching dresses :)<br />
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I was a little ambitious with making hats to donate to the NICU this week. Yes, I made all of these in the past week. I had lots of little scrap yarn ends I was determined to use up... and I used up quite a few of them with this.<br />
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Going through the piles of items I've crocheted in the last few months, I realized neither of my girls had ear flap hats, so I made matching ones for both Emoree and Anya!!! Emoree loves to run around the house in hers.<br />
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Just a simple crocheted headband I made, and this is what I hope to have on Anya when the NILMDTS photographer comes to the NICU to take pictures of her for me.<br />
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I created this pattern myself :) It is 0-3 month size and I call it a floppy daisy hat, but many I've showed it to say it looks like a Foofa hat? I didn't understand the reference (and actually had to google it) because I've never seen Yo Gabba Gabba before. Anyway, the inspiration actually came from a photography friend of mine, who years ago took pictures of her newborn in a large bowl that looked like a teacup, and her baby had a large flower bow on top of her head. I had that image stuck in my head and I remembered how much I loved that picture... so I decided to make a crochet hat for Anya that looked similar to that style.<br />
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The picture on the left is the last picture I have of me pregnant with Emoree and on Tuesday this week I hit that same gestational day, 32w6d. I had been looking forward to that day so I could take a pic of me in the same bathing suit, same pose, on the same gestational day for the best comparison... and I definitely have more belly & boobs with Anya than I did with Emoree!!</div>
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33 Weeks: 202.6 lbs (+16.0 lbs)</div>
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-86828736771814657802012-07-25T12:30:00.000-07:002012-07-25T12:40:20.072-07:00Free Crochet Pattern: 0-3 month Floppy Daisy Hat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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***This pattern belongs to Karen Wockenfuss. Do Not Copy without permission. Items made with this pattern may not be sold. Please post this link when referencing this pattern.***</div>
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This is my first time actually writing out a pattern I've created, so bare with me! Please feel free to comment below if something doesn't make sense. Enjoy!!!<br />
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Items Needed:</div>
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H/8 5.0mm crochet hook</div>
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1/8 skein worsted weight pink yarn</div>
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small amount worsted weight white yarn</div>
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small amount worsted weight yellow yarn</div>
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yarn needle</div>
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Stitches used:</div>
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double crochet (dc)</div>
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single crochet (sc)</div>
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slip stitch (sl st)</div>
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double crochet two together [decrease] (dc2tog)</div>
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Pink yarn, Start w/ Magic Circle</div>
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R1: ch2, 10dc in circle, sl st to top of ch2</div>
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R2: ch2, 2dc in each st, sl st to top of ch2</div>
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R3: ch2, *2dc in first st, 1dc in next st* repeat around, sl st to top of ch2</div>
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R4: ch2, *2dc in first st, 1dc in next 2 st* repeat around, sl st to top of ch2</div>
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R5: ch2, *2dc in first st, 1dc in next 6 st* repeat around, sl st to top of ch2</div>
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R6-10: ch2, 1dc in each st around, sl st to top of ch2</div>
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R11: (DO NOT ch2) *skip 1st st, 4dc in next st, skip next st, sl st in next st* repeat around, sl st in first st, fasten off.</div>
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(If you want to make this in true newborn size, just skip row 5, and you will end up ending with the 10th row being the scalloped edge)</div>
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Yellow yarn, Start w/ Magic Circle</div>
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R1: ch2, 11dc in circle, sl st to top of ch2</div>
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R2: ch1, 2sc in each st around, sl st in first st. </div>
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Attach white yarn for petals.</div>
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Petal:</div>
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R1: ch2, 1dc in next 3 st. ch2 & turn</div>
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R2: 2dc in 1st st, 1 dc in next st, 2dc in last st, ch2 & turn</div>
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R3: 1dc in each st, ch2 & turn</div>
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R4: dc2tog, 1dc in next st, last 2 st dc2tog. ch2 & turn</div>
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R5: dc2tog, 1dc in last st.</div>
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sl st down the side of the petal to the yellow base. at the base, sl st in the next st.</div>
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repeat petal 5 more times, starting ch2 in the last sl st.</div>
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Edging of flower: sc around edges of each petal continuously to finish. fasten off.</div>
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Attach flower to top of hat with yellow yarn and yarn needle.</div>
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0-3 month size measures approx 13" in circumference, and 5" in length</div>
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-12675635373545020742012-07-20T12:20:00.001-07:002012-07-20T12:20:19.797-07:0032 Weeks & 2 Days: Bed Rest Day 86I am 9 days away from the gestational day Emoree was born! That is my first goal.. to surpass 33w4d. 2nd goal is 35 weeks, and then every week after that is an added bonus! <br />
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First appt this week was Monday, my regular OB appt which thankfully was uneventful. No cervix check, yay! It wasn't necessary to do one because I haven't been having any pressure/contractions. I checked with her again to make sure I was a good candidate for VBAC, and she said, "I see no reason why not!" This made me super happy :)<br />
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Appt #2 was yesterday morning, I had a fetal echocardiogram with the pediatric cardiologist which was also uneventful :) Anya looks good and stable. The later in pregnancy the harder it is for them to do ultrasounds... because she is in the worst position possible (spine up, head down), and the bones calcify and it causes shadows on ultrasound, so for what they were able to see she looked good. Next appt with the peds cardio is in 4 weeks, she said if I make it that far!<br />
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Today I had a quick ultrasound and a non-stress test. In the picture above, the ultrasound tech said the white squiggles in the center of the pic is hair!!! Her head is the shadowed out circle to the right. She also had her hand covering her ear, it was cute but they couldn't get a good picture of it. She was super active this morning and totally non-cooperative, I actually jumped a few times because Anya kept hitting a nerve on my hip! After the ultrasound they hooked me up to the contraction monitor and fetal heartbeat monitor for a NST. This usually takes 20-45 minutes, and I was on the longer end this time because in the shorter time frame she wasn't having enough accelerations in her heart rate, but she had more towards the end. No contractions, yay! Good thing to, because I was having some pressure last night, but it was gone this morning. I was sooo sleepy (7:30AM appt) that I actually fell asleep for a few minutes :)<br />
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Today I also got to visit my friend's baby in the PICU. She is 3 weeks old today and recovering from the first (Norwood) open heart surgery. She has the same congenital heart defect Anya has, Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Recovery is a slow and stressful process, but she is doing very well today I am so proud of her and her strong momma! It was very nice to see them both.<br />
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Yesterday I finished Emoree's blanket! I have made Anya 3 blankets for far, so I decided it was overdue time for me to make Emoree one. It took 16 days (I worked on it everyday), and it is definitely my largest project yet, it measures 47"x38"! This is all from "leftover" yarn I had, I didn't buy any of it :)<br />
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Today I subject you to an iPad self pic, not my usual picture style :) 32 weeks & 2 days preggo! I did my makeup today for the first time in MONTHS. I also had 4" cut off my hair (no more hair dye in my ends, yay!) and my eyebrows waxed which was much overdue. <br />
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32 Weeks: 198.6lbs (+10 lbs)<br />
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-24975353388948490692012-07-11T10:22:00.004-07:002012-07-11T10:22:46.746-07:0031 Weeks: Bed Rest Day 77My countdown ticker says "63 days to go" until Anya is born... I'm just hoping to make it another 4-5 weeks! Tomorrow is 2 months away from my official due date. <br />
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I saw my OB on Monday, and that visit went well. I didn't want a cervix check, but she insisted, and luckily I am still holding at 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. The procardia is working, and she gave me another script to take it for another month. Luckily, I don't experience the side effects every time I take it!! Ocasionally I get shaky, dizzy, my heart races, and I get a headache. Other times, I'm fine! My blood sugar numbers have been ALOT better too, and its not like I'm doing much different! The best part is my OB told me that I can get in my own backyard pool!!! :) I am now officially on once a week OB appts, every Monday morning.<br />
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This morning I had a fetal cardiology appointment and growth scan. Anya wouldn't cooperate, so the only picture I got was of her foot (toes on the left, heel on the right). I did get to see her practice "breathing" on the ultrasound though, that was neat! Her heart rate was about 143, which is good. The best part is, she weighs approximately 3lbs 11oz!!! I think I saw on the screen this puts her at the 38th percentile. This is only 4oz less than Emoree weighed at birth at 33w4d, and 1oz MORE than Emoree weighed coming home from the hospital! And I'm only 31 weeks! If this keeps up she will be a good size by 35-36 weeks :) Today my amniotic fluid measured 10cm, when 2 weeks ago it was 16cm. Because of this, I ended up on the monitor today for a Non-Stress Test, which I will now have done every week, and I also have to go back this Friday to check the amniotic fluid again just to make sure it hasn't decreased further.<br />
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No crochet pictures this week, I am still working on Emoree's granny square blanket. I have 47/80 square complete, so over halfway done the squares! Putting it together and doing the border is a whole nother task. I started packing my hospital bag this week, all I really have together is 2 pairs of PJs and some toiletries but its a start.<br />
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On Monday, I did my own maternity pictures :) I didn't want to wait any longer in case I would miss the opportunity to do them... and it is something I have been looking forward to. There are still a few shots I want to do that involve Emoree, I hope to get those done this weekend.<br />
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31 Weeks: 200.6 lbs (+12 lbs)</div>
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-78827080272147102122012-07-05T09:10:00.000-07:002012-07-05T09:13:59.088-07:0030 Weeks & 1 Day: Bed Rest Day 71<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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To say the least, it has been an "interesting" week. The end of last week and the weekend was nice... I had friends over on Thursday and Saturday and things felt "normal" again. Luckily with all the crazy storms last Friday, we didn't lose our power like lots of others did because I don't think I would have survived this 100+ degree heat without AC!! <br />
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Monday morning my first appointment was with the diabetic nutrition counseling people... Let me tell you I didn't learn much! The only thing I got out of it was I need to "count carbs"... but honestly it hasn't affected my numbers much. <br />
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My next appointment was immediately following the diabetic counseling appointment, and that was my regular OB visit. It started out like a normal visit, heard Anya's heartbeat, talked about my blood sugar numbers, etc. She asked if I had any contractions in the last two weeks, and I said no, but I've felt more pressure. She decided it would be a good idea to check my cervix... and that is when everything changed. I was shocked to hear that at 29 weeks & 5 days pregnant I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced! This earned me a trip immediately to Labor & Delivery. We walked back across the street to the hospital and I was admitted to L&D. I was quite upset about this...<br />
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They had a room ready for me when I got there because my OB had called ahead to let them know I was on my way. First thing they did was hook me up to a heart beat monitor for Anya, and a contraction monitor. They ended up taking the heart monitor off later that night because Anya was doing just fine, but the contraction monitor they left on me for my entire 28 hour stay. For the first 6 or so hours, I was having "uterine irritability", not really contractions. Anyway, within the first hour I was there they started me on IV fluids, did a cervical exam (OW!!!!) in which they did swabs for a FFN test and all sorts of other things, and they re-checked my cervix which was confirmed to be 2cm dilated & 50% effaced. My cervix was checked again 2-3 hours later, and it was 2cm dilated and 75% effaced (which is what it currently still is today). The FFN test luckily came back negative, it is some sort of test that can predict if I was going to deliver in the next two weeks. They also started me on Procardia to keep away any contractions, which I am still taking around the clock every 6 hours. My mom brought Emoree up to the hosital to see me for about an hour, and that made me happy. Later that night she called me before bed time and was crying :( We haven't been apart one night since she was 15 months old. Also, it is hard to sleep in a hospital! I literally only got 3 hours of sleep. They gave me a steroid shot on Monday to help mature Anya's lungs quicker in case she is delivered prematurely, and also one the second day before I was discharged. Also because of my gestational diabetes (that I still don't believe I have), they tested my blood sugar a heck of a lot! After the first steroid shot, my sugar shot up to over 200. After two doses of insulin Monday night, it was finally back down in the 140-150s. I did some crocheting while I was in the hospital too, but it was difficult with the IV in my arm (I requested to not have it put in my hand). I was FINLLY discharged just before 4PM on Tuesday! I have orders of even stricter bed rest, no pool (not even laying in my lovely pool raft), I am allowed from the bed, to the recliner, to the bathroom, and a quick trip to the kitchen for a snack and a water bottle, but no standing in the kitchen preparing food.<br />
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While admitted in Labor & Delivery, a very special friend of mine stopped by to see me Tuesday morning. Her daughter was born on Friday, and she has the same CHD that Anya has, Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Her precious baby girl had open heart surgery on Tuesday for the Norwood procedure, the first of the 3 surgeries that Anya will have as well. I think it is about a 5-6 hour surgery, and the most complex of the 3. Now two days later, baby C is doing better than expected, and her chest will be closed tomorrow (they typically do not close the chest immediately after surgery because of swelling). Anyway, her Mommy Sarah is pretty handy with scrapbooking and card making, and made this for Anya! I am going to frame it and hang it in her nursery.<br />
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Yesterday I was pretty depressed... it was 4th of July, 99 degrees, and I couldn't go swimming. It was even too hot to sit outside on a lounge chair for more than 20 minutes, and everyone else was in the pool. I fell asleep at 8PM and didn't even see one bit of fireworks. I wanted to crochet, but my wrist is pretty sore from my IV (it is bruised and swollen). Today I'm feeling alot better... I'm home by myself and spending the day inside in the air conditioning... my wrist is still pretty bruised but I might try some crocheting a little later.</div>
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I cancelled my other 2 doctor's appointments this week; I was supposed to have a cervix length check today which would prove to be pointless, since I just had a check on Tuesday and I am dilated. The other appointment was at pediatric cardiology for a fetal echo, which I rescheduled for 2 weeks from today. Monday I see my OB again, and I see the fetal cardiologist next Wednesday.</div>
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Late last week I made Anya 3 more hats while sitting outside in the shade, and Emoree was swimming. This first one is a pattern I came up with myself, and it is approximately 6 months size.</div>
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This one is newborn size, which is very similar to a hat I made very early this pregnancy. The one I made before was preemie size and I've decided I won't get use out of it, so I put it in my "donate to the NICU" stack of hats and made this one instead, and added a cute flower to it :)<br />
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This one is 3 months size, a simple design with a butterfly detail :)<br />
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While I was in the hospital, I finished Emoree's big sister present from Anya! All I had left to do was the shoes, so it didn't take long. I love it, and I hope she will too!!<br />
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This is my collection so far of hats (and a pair of booties) I've made to donate to the NICU that Anya will be in. So far it is 14 hats, and I want to have at least 20, which should be an easy task. They range in size from tiny preemie up to large newborn :)<br />
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and now for my current project... I am making my first granny square blanket! I am going to need at least 80 squares total (they measure 4.5" square) to make it at least 36"x45". 8 squares done, at least 72 to go! This is going to be for Emoree, because I promised her I would make her a blanket. This is from "leftover" skeins of yarn both my mom and I have in bins... and I am starting with this lavender, and I am also going to do pink square and white squares (all in yarn I already have laying around). This project is going to take me awhile, but I'd like to have it done before Anya is born!<br />
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I took this picture (the one on the right) on Friday when I was 29 weeks & 2 days (5 days before I had Emoree), to compare to the picture on the left when I was 32 weeks & 6 days pregnant with Emoree!! More than 3 weeks behind, my belly is already bigger, my boobs are bigger, and I am definitely more tan :) I really would like to take this same picture again when I am 32 weeks & 6 days with Anya ;)</div>
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30 Weeks: 200.2 lbs eek! (+11.6 lbs)</div>
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-84573323386006232212012-06-27T13:34:00.000-07:002012-06-27T13:34:53.843-07:0029 Weeks: Bed Rest Day 63I've actually made it through 9 weeks of bed rest? Wow... and it's probably over half way over too! Today I'm taking bed rest to it's full extent... I'm freaking uncomfortable! Everytime I stand or walk I have a moderate amount of pressure and I am just generally exhausted. Also I feel like I live in a bubble, and Anya isn't even here yet. I miss my friends :(<br />
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I had my lovely weekly cervix check and ultrasound this morning! To which I found out why I'm so uncomfortable... Anya has been head down for 10 weeks now, but up until this week there was a tiny pocket of fluid between her head and my cervix that she used to have room to put her hand on top of her head, no more! Her head is now pressed hard against my cervix with no room to spare :-P Luckily, my cervix is still closed and measuring at 2.3cm! Given that I've been increasingly uncomfortable for the last 2 days, I was afraid it would be shorter. Also, the amniotic fluid is 16cm, which is right on target. Everything still looks good with Anya too, and she weighs an estimated 2lbs 10oz!! She is in the 42nd percentile for her gestational age, so basically on track. <br />
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That is really the only "update" I have this week, I miraculously only had one appointment!! Next week, I have 4. Monday is my OB appt and my "diabetic nutrition counseling" appointment, and Thursday next week is my pediatric cardiology appointment (for a fetal echocardiogram) and my last cervix length check. <br />
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As far as crocheting goes, I made a gift for a friend, I had another friend ask me to make two hats for her and I got them done this week, and I've been working on Emoree's big sister present :) I'm really excited about it! I will post a pic when it is complete, but she won't see it until after Anya is born, because it is her present from Anya. And of course, I finished Emoree's loom hat that matches one I made for Anya!<br />
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29 Weeks: 196 lbs (+ 7.4 lbs)<br />
<br />Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-46534011245262042162012-06-20T16:37:00.000-07:002012-06-20T16:39:03.506-07:0028 Weeks: Bed Rest Day 56<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hello Third Trimester!!!! I sure hope to know you longer this time than I did with Emoree. Can I ask for 9 more weeks? :o) It is crazy hot outside today!! 97 degrees.. heat index 102. Normally I love the heat and will spend the day in the pool getting sun... but being pregnant if it's over 90 degrees after an hour I'm done. Maybe I will go back out later.<br />
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First I am going to give an Emoree update! Yesterday she had 4" cut off of her hair! She has had plenty of haircuts, but this was by far the most drastic. It is now shoulder length and easier to brush and maintain.. since she hates having her hair brushed and she swims all summer. I am letting her bangs grow out. She had her 4 year well visit yesterday at the pediatrican, and she weighs 48.9lbs and is 41.75" tall!!!! She is a big girl! She is in the 95th percentile for height and weight. She had 4 vaccines (MMR, chicken pox, tetanus, and dTap or polio?) yesterday and I was told she is good on vaccines now until she is 11 years old! Unfortunately all last night and today she has had a bad fever and chills... hoping this is gone by tomorrow :(<br />
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Also while we were at Emoree's pediatrican appointment yesterday, we talked to the pedi about Anya. I am very happy to hear that she currently has two patients with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and she trained under one of the doctors who was part of creating the Norwood (1st) surgery that Anya will have, so she is very knowledgable and comfortable with handling Anya's diagnosis. She also said if we have any issues after hours once Anya is home, we will have direct phone access to her, and we won't have to use the after hours messaging on call system. Big relief! She also said even though she isn't connected with UMMC, to call her when I am in labor or when Anya is born because she will make a trip over to UMMC to check in on her.</div>
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Monday I had my 27-28 week OB appointment. All went well except my OB told me I do have gestational diabetes :( I've been testing my blood sugar for two weeks 4x a day, and she said half of my numbers are too high and that I need to go to diabetic nutritional counseling (scheduled July 2nd) and continue to keep track of my blood sugar levels, and that if they continue to be high she will put me on meds :( Next OB appt scheduled for July 2nd right after the nutrition appointment.<br />
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Today I had my cervix check, which measured 2.0-2.3cm! Still holding stable ;) They told me they will probably measure my cervix for 2 more weeks just to make sure it stays stable. They also printed me 4 pictures today, Anya was semi-cooperative :) I got to see the fetal cardiologist again today too, she wanted to make sure she saw me because she was going out of town for two weeks. The tech was asking her a lot of questions about what she was scanning and Anya's specific defect, so I got to learn a lot more too... apparantly she really IS more stable now than she was when she was first diagnosed. The fetal cardiologist said that Anya was alot more critical when first diagnosed because her PFO was closed / nearly closed and she had a lot more pressure in her arteries than she does now. Now her PFO looks okay, which alleviated pressure. It was good to hear :) The tech also asked about the surgeries, her aorta, and the left side of her heart, and the fetal cardiologist said the surgeries rework the "plumbing", but they can't fix the left side of the heart, which I already knew. She doesn't have a left aorta, because there is no blood flow in the left so the aorta never formed.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWLgjAeEuMBY4JmUddF2KcqLsMk-JNLmTTg9zEKK5at76o5Vz1IT64lQyZYnaaT0mtwmZD4ErLaLLrKrQ6Vl8FgIF-CKQQ0aFTYGswlKpeVrFcQ9x_y3bY1EQ6ZpCIr7BNigRoZW9EFoyl/s1600/004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWLgjAeEuMBY4JmUddF2KcqLsMk-JNLmTTg9zEKK5at76o5Vz1IT64lQyZYnaaT0mtwmZD4ErLaLLrKrQ6Vl8FgIF-CKQQ0aFTYGswlKpeVrFcQ9x_y3bY1EQ6ZpCIr7BNigRoZW9EFoyl/s320/004.JPG" width="242" /></a></div>
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At the end of last week I made Anya a 0-3 month size elf hat, its more of a photography prop than anything, I love it :)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiqAjk_qOZz00o9A6Stssqg_LnGdvHLVvl4DgTKPvG7_kmquHgUd5aGfguUgE3CV9_jiFWbDDu6XZpVzJdnlMP4k82Ni_rx8BEom3pkT00SyXTL48sh7IpjL2a2USAc9wi28yACMv2IYCy/s1600/003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiqAjk_qOZz00o9A6Stssqg_LnGdvHLVvl4DgTKPvG7_kmquHgUd5aGfguUgE3CV9_jiFWbDDu6XZpVzJdnlMP4k82Ni_rx8BEom3pkT00SyXTL48sh7IpjL2a2USAc9wi28yACMv2IYCy/s320/003.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
This is something quick I made, a thick newborn loom hat :) Emoree likes it and wants one of her own, I started it but I need to get more yarn to finish it.<br />
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Not crochet, but special none the less :) I made this to hang on the front of Anya's NICU isolette <3<br />
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My current in progress projects are Emoree's big sister present, and a gift for someone else. <br />
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Something else special... I have lined up a professional photographer from <a href="http://www.heartlovephotography.com/">Heartlove Photography</a> to take pictures of Anya in the NICU before her first surgery. This is something special that I really want to do. Heartlove Photography is affiliated with the <a href="http://www.nilmdts.org/">NILMDTS</a> organization (among others), they are an organization that has professional photographers signed up with them to take portraits of critical ill and bereavement photos of infants in NICUs at no cost. I am familiar with this organization from back when I used to stalk pro photography forums when I was first learning how to use my camera, I just never thought I'd have a reason to use it... but anyway she emailed me back right away and said to keep her updated, and to let her know when she is born so she can come do photos for me, because I want them done before her first surgery.<br />
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28 Weeks: 197.6 lbs (+ 9 lbs!)<br />
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8469542113534157315.post-91493051810752796402012-06-15T09:43:00.000-07:002012-06-15T09:43:30.123-07:0027 Weeks & 2 Days: Bed Rest Day 51This week has been pretty normal, 2 doctor's appointments, and I've gotten back into crocheting big time :) Also something else pretty special... I started getting my first kicks in the ribs a few days ago!! Anya is SO active, much more than Emoree ever was. Sometimes feeling my belly I can feel Anya pushing out a body part... usually a foot or her butt and its so cool because I can feel the edges of her foot through my skin <3<br />
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I had my regular weekly cervix check on Wednesday morning, and Anya looks stable and good, but just as stubborn as ever because she will NOT turn her face around for a picture!!! Still head down and facing back. The amniotic fluid was measuring at 16cm, which is good! My cervix length is measuring at 1.8cm-2.1cm, short but stable, and still closed. Apparantly the perinatalogist (who I do not see regularly) leaves notes for the techs to ask me... at least this is what the tech told me on Wednesday because she said she had to ask to make sure I was still "behaving" on bed rest, because Dr. Harmon wanted to know. I'm being good! Ecspecially now that I'm back to crocheting, all I do is sit on my butt!<br />
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Thursday morning I had a renal ultrasound. Not pregnancy related, but my new OB is very thorough and since I have a unicornuate uterus, she wanted me to have a renal ultrasound because its all connected and comes from the same place during development. The tech scanned and measured my right kidney fast and easy... she spent a lot longer on the left side. It turns out, no left kidney for me! It didn't suprise me much. She said a normal kidney in an adult female is about 10cm, and my right is measuring 12cm most likely to overcompensate for the lack of a left. Good thing a person can live normally with only one kidney :-P<br />
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I've been testing my blood sugar 4x a day for just over a week now, and I didn't think I'd get used to the finger prick as quickly as I did. I used to freak out about my fingertips bleeding, but the finger prick isn't too big of a deal. My morning fasting # is usually in the normal-high range... 88-101. After breakfast is always high... 130-150. Lunch and dinner is give or take.. it varies from 110-150. I may or may not have gestational diabetes.. I'm supposed to take my chart of my #s I've been keeping to my OB on Monday. <br />
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Now for the fun stuff!!! I finally found a pattern for booties that I like, so here is Anya's first pair of baby booties, of course with a matching headband. Headbands are so easy to make sure will probably have one for every outfit.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqjdtWx7sdfCuZUVBD08KqM1m8yraiawjLE4DKcrtK99uuhW4KCtHDtl4SHD321FXxirHGAzffAKMeKzkP9iDUO3hhsdGgmv496wpY-mhLZJ6y-tCfeGsyi2NbbjYKrwd_sSLQd6VC_zM_/s1600/007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqjdtWx7sdfCuZUVBD08KqM1m8yraiawjLE4DKcrtK99uuhW4KCtHDtl4SHD321FXxirHGAzffAKMeKzkP9iDUO3hhsdGgmv496wpY-mhLZJ6y-tCfeGsyi2NbbjYKrwd_sSLQd6VC_zM_/s320/007.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
This is my biggest project, EVER. I started it over a year ago well before I had even planned to conceive Anya. Last week, I pulled it out of the closet and started crocheting like crazy... literally hours at a time. It was less than half done when I started back on it... but I added 10+ rows each day to get it finished because I was determined to have it done before I started other projects!! It measures 42"x36", so it is a decent size baby blanket too.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhScpN1IageHOdaKrKOb9FpAGNN_UceextsqNpYWKGEqHIyPsOIbDuEbr4ppCJOZqGB5mDyQdGEQFw3UZ3uJ5g1P4s2V_jxacWtrPvZC1hx7d2Sn3Ae9wbfD-cPnxpCBtlyW5dL8Ovl8nHD/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhScpN1IageHOdaKrKOb9FpAGNN_UceextsqNpYWKGEqHIyPsOIbDuEbr4ppCJOZqGB5mDyQdGEQFw3UZ3uJ5g1P4s2V_jxacWtrPvZC1hx7d2Sn3Ae9wbfD-cPnxpCBtlyW5dL8Ovl8nHD/s320/001.JPG" width="213" /></a></div>
I love this!!! I've never crocheted clothing before, and when I saw this pattern I decided I had to make it. For the price of the yarn, I made this whole set for under $6. It is a 0-3 months size dress and diaper cover, with a 14" crochet flower headband. I'm excited to eventually take pictures of Anya wearing it :) I made this whole set in less than 2 days.<br />
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First bare belly shot :-) 27 Weeks!!!! I took these yesterday. You can see how tan I am getting sitting out in the sun on nice days... with my arm next to my white belly lol. Anya is growing!!!</div>
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27 Weeks: 194.2lbs (+5.6 lbs!)</div>
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</div>Mommy to Emoree and Anyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142038926512250508noreply@blogger.com0