Thursday, November 17, 2011

Who is my Dad?

Luckily, I haven't been asked this question yet by my 3.5 year old. She isn't really old enough yet to get the concept, though she does see other kids' dads at her daycare/school. I know this question will come soon enough, and as much as I want to say I am ready and prepared to answer this inevitable question, I know it will knock me off guard the first time I hear it. It is all about age appropriateness, and I'm as prepared as I can be :o)

So what brought me here? I've always wanted a child much more than I was ever interested in dating. I've dated a guy, and I've dated a few women. The right person hasn't stumbled upon me yet, and I'm not out there looking because it simply isn't a priority of mine. My priority is being a Mom because that is what I have always wanted to be. I'm the girl at 17 that bought baby clothes and put them away in my cedar chest with hopes and dreams to one day put my baby in them, and those dreams all came true when I had Emoree.

I did a good deal of searching to find the right donor for me. I decided to go with an anonymous donor from a cryobank because a: I did not want someone else to have any legal rights to my child(ren) and b: the cryobank I chose is very selective and only uses donors with stellar medical histories. The donors are honestly screened for any disease or genetic disorder you could think of. The donor I chose was the closest match I could find to my own physical characteristics, and apparantly I made a good match since anyone and everyone tells me Emoree looks exactly like me.

So what do I have to show my child(ren) when she/they get older? I have a 13 page physical/behavioral characteristics profile of the donor, a complete medical profile, a picture from when he was 18 months old, and an audio interview clip of his voice as an adult. There is no identifying information to try and find him, not that I have an interest to. However, when my child(ren) are old enough, there is a donor/sibling registry online that makes it possible to maybe find a sibling or donor, but that decision will be my child's and I will support them in whatever decision they make.

My opinion of donors is a positive one. I know many others see them as people just trying to make a few bucks, but on the other hand that donor gave a part of them that allowed me to have a family.

If this cycle works and I do get pregnant, Emoree and baby #2 will be full-blooded siblings. I bought 4 vials when I was trying to concieve Emoree, and only used two the first time to get pregnant. The other two vials (when using frozen sperm, the fertility center I go to uses two vials per cycle in two consecutive IUIs to increase the chance of pregnancy) were kept frozen and I have been paying storage fees of $360 a year for the last 3 years. If this try doesn't work, I don't know if I will try to concieve again. The donor I am using is not in the program anymore and there are not any vials available to purchase... so here is to hoping that the first try makes it happen!

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