Friday, December 16, 2011

Day 15: Monitoring is making me CRAZY.

Day 15, and I had bloodwork and ultrasound this morning. I was the first one there, so I got in and out quick (I wonder if they talk shit about me after I leave for showing up 15 minutes early? Either way I don't care). During my blood draw the tech told me that 3 days ago (CD12) my 2 leading follicles were 9mm and 8mm, and told me hopefully I should have some 12, 13 or maybe 14mm follicle today! That gave me hope, that was quickly crashed down upon during my ultrasound. My actual doctor did my ultrasound, and he didn't really say anything today which made me nervous. I saw on the screen what looked like more than 2 measurable follicles, and it seemed like the 2 that were leading didn't grow much. I asked him if it looks like this was going to work out this cycle, and his answer wasn't too uplifting to me... He said, "It isn't a matter of if, it is when. If too many of these follicles develop, we will have to cancel this cycle to avoid the risk of multiples." I held it together at that point, and was still okay. I don't even know what the follicles measured at today, because I even asked the nurse when she called me this afternoon what my follicle measurements were, and she told me sorry, but the doctor didn't record any follicle measurements. That really let me down. What she did have for me was my estrogen level for today... 604!!!! It TRIPLED in the last 3 days!! The freaks me out a bit, since I didn't have any matured follicles, and typically your estrogen level is about 200 per mature follicle. Now I'm upset that this cycle might be cancelled... I've been injecting hormones for the last two weeks and now it may have been for nothing?!? I'm a person who is used to getting what I want.. and not because I am spoiled, but because I work my ass off for it. This sort of thing makes me crazy because it is out of my control, and I must admit I am a bit of a control freak. Also, I definitely should have not googled "Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome" because that freaked me out even more... since I am in the catagory for every one of the risk factors (Under age 35, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, irregular cycles, ovulatory disorders...) and it is a very real possibility. To top it all off the injections are making me feel crazy.

I was also a bit upset that I had to go to the pharmacy today to pick up that 2nd vial of Follistim 300IU just incase I still need it on Sunday evening... another $284 after being told this cycle could possibly be cancelled.

I go back in for yet another monitoring appt of bloodwork and ultrasound on Sunday morning at 7AM, which will be cycle day 17. That really makes me feel like I am running out of time for this cycle to actually work out... I would love to go in there Sunday morning to find that I have just two nearly mature follicles with a comparable estrogen level, and that it is time to trigger ovulation with Ovidrel. Unfortunately, I think I'm dreaming... my luck has not been working out that way. We shall see Sunday I guess....

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