Monday, January 2, 2012

11 DPO: Two Week Wait Torture

Today I feel like I am losing hope. Pregnancy "symptoms" I had last week are long gone, and I figure they were just from the hcg shot. Now I feel nothing. I don't know what to think. Here is what it comes down to. Everything that says "Don't test too early, you will only stress yourself out," it is totally true. I am torturing myself with negative HPTs. If they weren't expensive (although, these are the dollar store ones but I bought the last two) I would test more than once a day and emotionally torture myself more.

These are from yesterday and today, respectively. I am making myself crazy... again... I am zooming in on the pictures, increasing the saturation levels, brightness, anything to see if there could be a remote faint line there. Alas, nothing. I KNOW, I KNOW. It is too early, right? I keep trying to tell myself that. It usually doesn't work. I've looked up every statistic I can online on what precentage of women get early positives on what days of ovulation.... I know I need to stop but easier said then done!

Today I asked myself what am I going to do if I am not pregnant? The answer: I got online and applied for FAFSA to go back to school. I looked up what classes I need to take (only two or three!) before I can apply for the Respiratory Therapy program. I might take Emoree to Disney World in the spring or for her birthday. This helps a little. At least, it is a distraction of something else to look forward to.

There is still a chance I could be pregnant. That is why, first thing when I get up tomorrow morning I am going to do another HPT, which is what I will do everyday this week until my blood test on Friday.

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